How to Make the Rest of This Year the Best of This Year

Can you believe we’re in mid-June and 2018 is half over?
No worries – there’s still enough year left to reboot, regroup and refocus.
Revisit your goals, set new deadlines and get moving.
Practice more self-care, whatever that looks like for you.
Try something new (a meal, a place, an activity) and open your mind to enjoying it.
Say no to whatever feels like settling.
If someone else’s “good enough” is your “almost but not quite,” trust yourself and be patient.
Make new friends, but keep the old.
Forgive yourself, and others too. It’s freeing.
Start positive new habits while gently kissing goodbye those actions, attitudes and encounters that no longer serve you.
Hug yourself. Respect yourself.
Water your soul with loving thoughts and words and watch yourself grow.
Be fair with others, even when they are unkind. Your grace could be the antidote to whatever is causing them to act in unbecoming ways; and if nothing else, you’ll walk in the joy of knowing that you remained your best self.
Be grateful for your allies, supporters and loved ones. People change and tribal members do, too; but your day-in and day-out loyalists are worth cherishing.
Move forward – one thought, one prayer, one choice, one step at a time. This all can add up to a powerful transformation.

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5 Ways to Push Past Fear

Were you one of those kids who believed that ghosts or monsters lurked in your bedroom closet, waiting until the lights were out and you were trying to sleep to make their presence known? (See my raised hand.)

Or, maybe you were the young adult with the world before you, yet you were so anxious about making wrong decisions that you opted more often than not to play it safe and make choices that were safe.  (Hand still partially raised.)

Or, could it be that now, as a full-fledged adult, you view your age, weight, finances, personality or other personal circumstances as reasons for staying in a holding pattern or coasting through each day?  (Hand NOT raised.)

It took me a while, but after living for a bit and surviving a couple of life’s major “D’s” – death of loved ones and divorce – I’ve come to realize that life’s not meant to be expansive and enjoyed only after you’ve conquered your challenges; instead,  while you’re wading (sometimes knee-deep) through them, you could be growing, learning, laughing, loving and even thriving in your inner soul.

Watching my now-deceased older sister find enjoyment in simple things after surviving a double lung transplant in 2011 taught me to value each breath, each opportunity to connect with loved ones, and indeed, each day.

Experiencing the death of important relationships and the snuffing out of their accompanying dreams taught me to value myself, flaws and all, because even if no one else is around, I have to live with and love me.

Pushing through all kinds of highs and lows with others shook me and shaped me into a more empathetic, peaceful and purposeful person – someone filled with more resilience, hope, deeper faith and joy for simple blessings than I otherwise might have possessed.

While my experiences have been uniquely my own, the benefits they’ve yielded are universally possible.

What has hampered you or broken your heart? What has made you press pause and enter a journey of self-examination or sacrifice? What has led to tears that have filled God’s bottle with your name on it, yet also grew a garden of unexpected supporters and mentors to surround you?

Consider those consequences as the gems for your journey. Allow them to fuel your steps forward and foster more hope and heartiness where needed.

Fear comes to us all, yet fear can’t take up residence unless we grant permission.

When it pays a visit, greet it with these behaviors:
  •  Acknowledge the emotion’s presence, then try to assess why you’re afraid.
  • Envision your worst-case scenario. If the thing you’re fearing were to happen, how would you survive? (Your faith, your Plan B, support from family or friends, or all of the above? )
  • Envision your best-case scenario and how this outcome would empower and elevate you. If this were to happen, how would you stay centered while sustaining the success?
  • Remind yourself that whatever comes, you are strong enough, smart enough and loved enough to fall down and get up, or to stand  and wait, or to rise and forge a new path – whatever is required.
  • Remember that by some accounts, FEAR is simply “False Evidence Appearing Real.” You have all within you to overtake whatever is causing you to stumble or spin your wheels.

Embrace the five suggestions outlined above and execute them routinely – one moment, one hour, one day at a time. Refresh and repeat as necessary.

Invest attention and intention in yourself, and before you know it, you’ll find yourself shedding your cocoon and soaring, in your solely special way.

You’ll be living life “untapped,” in a space where regrets are few, life lessons are abundant, and grace is more than sufficient.

CCO Use photo. Overcoming fear.

15 Ways to Get Unstuck and Grow

It’s true: Growth requires change. This is how…

Seeds become flowers;

Caterpillars become butterflies;

Irritants in oysters become pearls.

So why can’t we – once babes in arms – grow into purpose-driven world changers?

With intention, discipline and greater expectations, we can, and so can the children we’ve been given the opportunity to steward.

Let go of your fears and grow.

Where to start? Right here, right now.

How to start? With every simple or significant opportunity that comes your way.

Try one new thing today and see how it feels. Say yes to something you’d normally avoid. Consider embracing hard truths rather than running away from feedback, even if it stings.

Listen more and learn from others.

Get comfortable with silence so you can both hear yourself think and give your heart the space to respond. Consider another person’s perspective and why their view matters.

When you can’t literally stand in another person’s shoes, do your best to find other ways to empathize. What if it were your sister, brother, mother, father, son or daughter, best friend or spouse facing what this other person faces? Would you care enough to help, be an ally or be an upstander?

Shed unsuitable labels that those around you have given you. Beginning today, define or redefine for yourself who you are, who you are going to be and why your life matters.

Dust off the dreams you once held dear, but perhaps gave up pursuing. If necessary, give yourself permission to dream new dreams.

Accept that age truly is just a number. Celebrate the wisdom that has come with maturity, yet remain young at heart and as optimistic as the bright-eyed youth who sees a goal and declares it a birthright.

If Vera Wang could become a fashion designer at 40, Samuel Jackson could achieve stardom at age 46, Laura Ingalls Wilder could write her first book at 65, and Etta Baker could record her first blues record at 78, what can’t you do?

Make up your mind and fix your resolve to do it afraid, if necessary. (You get to determine what “it” is, and you may have more than one.)

Implement positive and productive practices that become positive and productive habits. Tell yourself to keep going when it gets hard. Push through and pat yourself on the back.

Cry if you must, then regroup. Get back up each time you wobble, fall or fail. Practice makes perfect, and important lessons are often learned through trial and error.

Know that what you’re you’re sacrificing now is worth what you’ll eventually gain.

Someday you’ll look back with gratitude at the seed covering, caterpillar shell and irritated oyster bed you outgrew.

~ Stacy Hawkins Adams

 

 

 

 

 

Got Goals? Refocus to Reach Them

Just a month into the New Year have you abandoned your goals or exceeded them?

Have you given up halfway there or talked yourself out of even trying? During this final week of January, take some time to recalibrate and refocus.
Stand up and start again.

Create your own brief list of tasks – not necessarily for what you want to DO this week, but for who you want to BE because of what you do. 

List your WHY as well as your HOW.

Say WHEN as well as WHAT.

Look yourself in the eye (in the mirror) and ask yourself, “Why not me?” Then go for it, with all you’ve got.

When you firmly choose the path you want to walk, your dreams and desires will manifest along the way.

~ Stacy Hawkins Adams

Why Talk Is Cheap and How to Get Moving

By Stacy Hawkins Adams

Ever heard the phrase Don’t just talk about it, be about it?

It offers a nudge to stop explaining what we would do if there weren’t obstacles and to start doing something – anything – that moves us in the direction of our dreams.

A guest minister at the Virginia church I attend delivered an electrifying message yesterday that reiterated the importance of growing past one’s comfort zone. Her tone wasn’t fiery, but the truths she delivered were, and I thought they were worth sharing.  Here’s a paraphrased summary of the wisdom she imparted to encourage each listener to get up and get moving:

– If you really want something different, act like it.

– Don’t talk about wanting a change while settling comfortably into your longtime (uncomfortable) status quo, and don’t expect anyone else to do your heavy lifting.

– When you get serious about growing as a person and enlarging your territory, your desires can direct you to your destiny.

– Exceptional desire yields exceptional results.

– Every inch you take toward a new destiny moves you closer to actually achieving it, no matter how small your movement and no matter how long it takes. Your effort, multiplied by God’s grace, will get you there in His perfect timing.

– Do what you must in order to thrive, not just survive.

As the guest minister advised in her closing, we each must find the courage to stop living where we are not challenged, because in challenge comes change, and in change comes growth and opportunities to live out our unique purpose.

Are you up to the task? Are you ready to shift – to actually receive what you’ve long claimed you want? If so, now is the time. Today is your day. Go seize your victory – one prayer, coupled with one step, at a time.

(Note: The guest minister’s sermon was based on John 5:2-9.)

9 Ways to Find Fulfillment

By Stacy Hawkins Adams
You get to choose who you’ll be and how you’ll move through this world. Why not do so in a way that you’ll treasure with gratitude and great memories? Here are 9 tips to fuel your process:

1) Don’t let your motivation to do well or do the right thing be driven by what others do or don’t do; be excellent and operate with integrity regardless of how it’s received.

2) What others think of you truly is their business; respect yourself while respecting their choice to choose.

3) Lead with love, because this is still what we all need most.

4) Remember that what you see isn’t always what it is. A fleeting perception or assumption about someone or a particular circumstance could be completely wrong. Base your opinions instead on that person’s actions and attitude over the course of time; because who they truly are will spill out over time. Accept that truth when it’s revealed, and be okay either way.

5) Choose joy. Life is too short to let grudges, gossip, guilt, greed or the like derail you. Joy is the secret sauce that keeps you going and gives you hope.

6) Speak your vision for your life and live it. Instead of wishing it were better or different or easier, embrace what it is and get busy creating a better, different, easier life for you and your loved ones.

7)  Have fun and go for gold; but don’t “get yours” and leave others to fend for themselves. When you open your heart enough to care about and make sacrifices for the benefit of all humanity, you’ll enrich your own world more than you could imagine.

8) Decide to get uncomfortable enough to try something new. You never know what opportunities, blessings and growth are just waiting for you to show up.

9) Take time to be kind or to simply be available. You are the gift someone needs today.

Do One Thing

~ By Stacy Hawkins Adams

What dream, goal, plan or opportunity have you been talking about but failing to move toward?

What is your routine “I can’t” or “but” for standing still – a lack of resources, a lack of courage, a lack of support from others?

Whatever your response, ask yourself how long you’ve been giving this answer. If it’s longer than a month, that’s almost too long. If it’s more than a year, your victory is way overdue.

If you can recall having this same conversation with yourself 12 months ago or longer, remember where you were at that time (or those many times). Consider who you were sharing with and why you indicated you couldn’t move forward. Are those same obstacles standing in your way today?
If your answer is yes, it’s time to move. If your answer is no, it’s time to move. directory-1273088_640

Because faith without works is dead. Because if you stay frozen in the dreaming and planning phase, the people who could be blessed by what you have to offer may never have that opportunity. Because perhaps your finding the courage to live out your destiny could impact how others live out theirs.

If your dream, goal, plan or opportunity is meant to live and exist, you are the only one who can conquer the hills and mountains that stand in the way, and the first obstacle to overcome may be the doubt in your own heart and mind.

When you truly believe you’re worth what you long for, you’ll begin to take those baby steps to achieve it. Yes, baby steps. Do one thing a week, or in some seasons one thing a month, to move closer to where you want to be. When you move – that is, put your faith into action – and persist, eventually you’ll be rewarded with an equal reaction of some kind – big or small- that confirms that your dream, goal, plans or opportunity are worthwhile.

I speak from experience – even in launching this blog. I had a logo designed a year ago, planned it in my head for months, then hemmed and hawed about what it should focus on. But I knew within if I just wrote from my heart and invited others to join me in doing the same, everything else would fall into place, and that’s what is happening.

Whatever your obstacles or tasks are, seek wisdom, then create a plan and get to it. Somebody somewhere needs what you have to offer. And guess what? So do you.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt