Keep Growing and Glowing

Own who you “used” to be, whether amazing, challenged or in between.
Look back at that girl (or guy) and laugh, cry, shrug or applaud.
Give thanks for the lessons you learned and how far you’ve come.
Embrace your truths with humility, grace and gratitude.
Don’t let anyone make you feel less than or ashamed because you had to go through the growing process.
You could have chosen to stay stuck, remain angry or keep your walls in tact.
Instead, you pushed through. You learned more about yourself, and began to understand others.
Your heart expanded. Your fears shrank. Your dreams took hold.
And now…now you can stand tall in who you are becoming…still.
The old you helped shape the newer you, so that you could be a better you for the purpose you’ll live out today and hopefully tomorrow.
Doesn’t that make it all worth it? The twists and turns, surprises and sorrows, great rises and steep tumbles?
Be grateful for it all, grow from it all, and love yourself (and others) no matter what.
You purpose has given you wings. 

Stacy Hawkins Adams

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Why March Madness Should Matter To You

If you’re in any way familiar with college basketball, you’ll know the term ‘March Madness,’ which describes the season of NCAA men’s and women’s basketball tournaments that determines the championship teams each year.

Even a sports novice like me knows that these weeks of play matter most – to the teams and their coaches, to the fans creating fantasy leagues, and to students and alums of schools in the running to claim the title. Every team wants to make it to the Final Four and finish with the big win.

Because March also ushers in Women’s History Month and my favorite season (spring!), and continues the Christian period of Lent leading up to Easter, I consider it an ideal time to reflect on what I’ve accomplished so far this year and renew my commitment to thrive.

I invite you to create your own version of “March Madness” and do the same:

  •  Read a few books that encourage you and open your mind to new perspectives. (Here’s one recommendations, but there are many good options: The Confidence Code: The Science & Art of Self-Assurance by Katty Kay & Clair Shipman)
  •  Write journal entries, essays, poems, short stories or chapters in your book-in-progress that reflect your goals and dreams. If you can better articulate your inner world, you can manifest it.  (Details about my author coaching opportunities are here.
  •  Review your 2019 goals and be honest about whether you’re truly ready to live “Life Untapped” or if you’re more comfortable “talking versus doing.”
Wherever you are in the process, NOW is the perfect season for rebooting rather than ruminating with regret. Go for it, and view each milestone as a win. Seemingly small victories eventually lead to battles won.
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How Taking Risks Helps You Grow

Yes – there will be missteps, mistakes and moments of doubt when you set sail in a new direction; but is the alternative really better?

Stay anchored in who and Whose you are, but don’t stay put and get stuck.

Launch out into the deep and experience your life, your relationships, your purpose and the things you’re most passionate about from another vantage point.

You’ll see – perspective is everything, and so are the new levels of hope, possibilities and joy you didn’t think were possible.take a leap

When you take a chance on you, you’ll never go wrong. If you fail, learn the lesson. If you succeed, use that blessing as fuel to go to the next level.

Love you, trust you, honor you. Be your own best friend so that you can be a better friend to others.

When you grow your heart, your mind and your purpose in ways that stretch you, you elevate the energy around you and within you, and bring others along for the beautiful ride.

So today, don’t dwell on what could go wrong. Focus on what could go right, and work on making that vision your reality.

 

How to Make the Rest of This Year the Best of This Year

Can you believe we’re in mid-June and 2018 is half over?
No worries – there’s still enough year left to reboot, regroup and refocus.
Revisit your goals, set new deadlines and get moving.
Practice more self-care, whatever that looks like for you.
Try something new (a meal, a place, an activity) and open your mind to enjoying it.
Say no to whatever feels like settling.
If someone else’s “good enough” is your “almost but not quite,” trust yourself and be patient.
Make new friends, but keep the old.
Forgive yourself, and others too. It’s freeing.
Start positive new habits while gently kissing goodbye those actions, attitudes and encounters that no longer serve you.
Hug yourself. Respect yourself.
Water your soul with loving thoughts and words and watch yourself grow.
Be fair with others, even when they are unkind. Your grace could be the antidote to whatever is causing them to act in unbecoming ways; and if nothing else, you’ll walk in the joy of knowing that you remained your best self.
Be grateful for your allies, supporters and loved ones. People change and tribal members do, too; but your day-in and day-out loyalists are worth cherishing.
Move forward – one thought, one prayer, one choice, one step at a time. This all can add up to a powerful transformation.

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5 Ways to Push Past Fear

Were you one of those kids who believed that ghosts or monsters lurked in your bedroom closet, waiting until the lights were out and you were trying to sleep to make their presence known? (See my raised hand.)

Or, maybe you were the young adult with the world before you, yet you were so anxious about making wrong decisions that you opted more often than not to play it safe and make choices that were safe.  (Hand still partially raised.)

Or, could it be that now, as a full-fledged adult, you view your age, weight, finances, personality or other personal circumstances as reasons for staying in a holding pattern or coasting through each day?  (Hand NOT raised.)

It took me a while, but after living for a bit and surviving a couple of life’s major “D’s” – death of loved ones and divorce – I’ve come to realize that life’s not meant to be expansive and enjoyed only after you’ve conquered your challenges; instead,  while you’re wading (sometimes knee-deep) through them, you could be growing, learning, laughing, loving and even thriving in your inner soul.

Watching my now-deceased older sister find enjoyment in simple things after surviving a double lung transplant in 2011 taught me to value each breath, each opportunity to connect with loved ones, and indeed, each day.

Experiencing the death of important relationships and the snuffing out of their accompanying dreams taught me to value myself, flaws and all, because even if no one else is around, I have to live with and love me.

Pushing through all kinds of highs and lows with others shook me and shaped me into a more empathetic, peaceful and purposeful person – someone filled with more resilience, hope, deeper faith and joy for simple blessings than I otherwise might have possessed.

While my experiences have been uniquely my own, the benefits they’ve yielded are universally possible.

What has hampered you or broken your heart? What has made you press pause and enter a journey of self-examination or sacrifice? What has led to tears that have filled God’s bottle with your name on it, yet also grew a garden of unexpected supporters and mentors to surround you?

Consider those consequences as the gems for your journey. Allow them to fuel your steps forward and foster more hope and heartiness where needed.

Fear comes to us all, yet fear can’t take up residence unless we grant permission.

When it pays a visit, greet it with these behaviors:
  •  Acknowledge the emotion’s presence, then try to assess why you’re afraid.
  • Envision your worst-case scenario. If the thing you’re fearing were to happen, how would you survive? (Your faith, your Plan B, support from family or friends, or all of the above? )
  • Envision your best-case scenario and how this outcome would empower and elevate you. If this were to happen, how would you stay centered while sustaining the success?
  • Remind yourself that whatever comes, you are strong enough, smart enough and loved enough to fall down and get up, or to stand  and wait, or to rise and forge a new path – whatever is required.
  • Remember that by some accounts, FEAR is simply “False Evidence Appearing Real.” You have all within you to overtake whatever is causing you to stumble or spin your wheels.

Embrace the five suggestions outlined above and execute them routinely – one moment, one hour, one day at a time. Refresh and repeat as necessary.

Invest attention and intention in yourself, and before you know it, you’ll find yourself shedding your cocoon and soaring, in your solely special way.

You’ll be living life “untapped,” in a space where regrets are few, life lessons are abundant, and grace is more than sufficient.

CCO Use photo. Overcoming fear.

15 Ways to Get Unstuck and Grow

It’s true: Growth requires change. This is how…

Seeds become flowers;

Caterpillars become butterflies;

Irritants in oysters become pearls.

So why can’t we – once babes in arms – grow into purpose-driven world changers?

With intention, discipline and greater expectations, we can, and so can the children we’ve been given the opportunity to steward.

Let go of your fears and grow.

Where to start? Right here, right now.

How to start? With every simple or significant opportunity that comes your way.

Try one new thing today and see how it feels. Say yes to something you’d normally avoid. Consider embracing hard truths rather than running away from feedback, even if it stings.

Listen more and learn from others.

Get comfortable with silence so you can both hear yourself think and give your heart the space to respond. Consider another person’s perspective and why their view matters.

When you can’t literally stand in another person’s shoes, do your best to find other ways to empathize. What if it were your sister, brother, mother, father, son or daughter, best friend or spouse facing what this other person faces? Would you care enough to help, be an ally or be an upstander?

Shed unsuitable labels that those around you have given you. Beginning today, define or redefine for yourself who you are, who you are going to be and why your life matters.

Dust off the dreams you once held dear, but perhaps gave up pursuing. If necessary, give yourself permission to dream new dreams.

Accept that age truly is just a number. Celebrate the wisdom that has come with maturity, yet remain young at heart and as optimistic as the bright-eyed youth who sees a goal and declares it a birthright.

If Vera Wang could become a fashion designer at 40, Samuel Jackson could achieve stardom at age 46, Laura Ingalls Wilder could write her first book at 65, and Etta Baker could record her first blues record at 78, what can’t you do?

Make up your mind and fix your resolve to do it afraid, if necessary. (You get to determine what “it” is, and you may have more than one.)

Implement positive and productive practices that become positive and productive habits. Tell yourself to keep going when it gets hard. Push through and pat yourself on the back.

Cry if you must, then regroup. Get back up each time you wobble, fall or fail. Practice makes perfect, and important lessons are often learned through trial and error.

Know that what you’re you’re sacrificing now is worth what you’ll eventually gain.

Someday you’ll look back with gratitude at the seed covering, caterpillar shell and irritated oyster bed you outgrew.

~ Stacy Hawkins Adams

 

 

 

 

 

Got Goals? Refocus to Reach Them

Just a month into the New Year have you abandoned your goals or exceeded them?

Have you given up halfway there or talked yourself out of even trying? During this final week of January, take some time to recalibrate and refocus.
Stand up and start again.

Create your own brief list of tasks – not necessarily for what you want to DO this week, but for who you want to BE because of what you do. 

List your WHY as well as your HOW.

Say WHEN as well as WHAT.

Look yourself in the eye (in the mirror) and ask yourself, “Why not me?” Then go for it, with all you’ve got.

When you firmly choose the path you want to walk, your dreams and desires will manifest along the way.

~ Stacy Hawkins Adams