How’s Your New Year “New You” Doing?

We often make resolutions at the dawn of a new year, believing that with a fresh date and fresh start, we can jumpstart what fell by the wayside weeks, months or even years earlier. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t – a reality that all of us can own.

In my case? I haven’t started exercising regularly yet in 2019, although my gym is awaiting me. And I’m still trying to convince myself to give up refined sugar.

I did purge my closet, and that felt oh so great. Yet I’m still in the process of mapping out a quarterly To Do list, to make sure that by the time I reach April, I can actually mark as completed most of the 90-day goals I set out to achieve.  (That list will be finalized before this month is over!)

Tackling goals like these year after year is refreshing in a way, because they are reminders that we always start again; that we should never stop living, learning and growing.

Yet, the first step, in one sense, is the easiest: We’ve talked ourselves into doing what we know is right and good for us in both the short- and long term.  On Jan. 1 of (whatever year) we’re psyched and excited.

However, then comes Day 2 and Week 3, and before you know it, Month 10. Taking step after step, day after day, in moment after moment is where we must keep talking and walking and envisioning that for which we long.  For it is after taking step after step, day after day, in moment by moment the magic, the movement and the new reality await us.

Are you up to the challenge and the change required to actually shift into this new space? I think I am, even if I have to recalibrate and restart on Day 15 and then again on Day 30 and Day 225. For, when we really decide we’re ready and we choose to really dig in, we’ll be able to appreciate the small transformations along our journey that make it as worthwhile a process as achieving our ultimate goals. Even if the process takes longer than we want (which it often does), we can stay on course by remembering that delays aren’t denials and “not now” doesn’t mean not ever. life_spiritual_breathing_sea_world_corunna_it_vibrates_beauty-1188436.jpg!d

I’ve done it before, and I’m aiming it to experience those mountain moments again, for both my big and small dreams. Are you with me?

If so, remind yourself throughout the process – on the days when sticking to your goals isn’t fun or when it seems easier to say you’ll get to it  “tomorrow” – that the change you long for – the change I long for – requires that we change our minds today.

Throughout your process, remind yourself…

When you’re open to consistently learning and growing;
to seeing life from another person’s point of view;
to stepping outside your comfort zone;
to helping someone else just because;
to opening your heart to new adventures at any age;
to living in peace and ensuring others that same opportunity,
the sky is not your limit and your joy can’t be contained.
It’s the true definition of changing for the better; of transforming into more of you.

–  Stacy Hawkins Adams

Write Your Way Whole….These Scribes Are

I spent Saturday morning at one of my favorite places in Richmond – Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden – leading a talented group of writers through the process of refining their novel, memoir, blog and short story ideas, with the goal of helping them captivate readers.

Writing @ The Garden with Stacy
Stacy Hawkins Adams and her Writing @ The Garden workshop participants.

As soon as the workshop ended, I headed to the Meadowdale Library to attend the book launch celebration for my writing mentee DaNika Neblett Robinson, Ed.D., who I’ve watched blossom into authorhood over the past three years while simultaneously completing a doctoral program in leadership at VCU. (Can you say “wow” with me??)  IMG_2221Her novella is a fictional story about three pregnant teens seeking hope amid their difficult choices, and it’s a path that DaNika knows well, having herself journeyed from teen mom to Ph.D standing. You’ll find her book – A Metamorphic Journey – on Amazon.

I’m so proud of all of them and grateful to share my expertise and passion for storytelling in this way. When their works shine, my heart smiles.

Can you do it all? You decide…

Welcome to a new week. You can’t do it all at once and do it all well; but you can do it all, if you pace yourself and honor the seasons in which each lane of purpose and passion should be prioritized.

This week, choose one goal to focus on, one lane to travel. Set a measurable milestone to conquer, and see how building your strength in this lane will ultimately lead to success with your other goals, too.

Are you up to the challenge and ready to start? Share your goal/lane of focus in the comments section so that I (and other blog readers) can root for your success.

Motivation and Growth

Got Empathy? How Seeking to Understand Serves Us All

By Stacy Hawkins Adams

“Don’t Make Assumptions.” I appreciate this one of Don Miguel Ruiz’s tenets from his book The Four Agreements in particular because it reminds us to give grace to others due to our own blind spots.

There’s no way we can fully know what someone else is going through or has gone through – especially by watching their social media “commercials.”

There’s no way to know the complete behind-the-scenes experiences that have motivated others’ next steps or perhaps left them stuck – unless we both ask with an open heart (when appropriate) and listen with unfiltered ears (always).
Until we can truly see and value others, we’ll always assume what “should” or “could” be their reality and/or their responses. But what good does this kind of judgment yield?

So consider this agreement a practice worth pursuing, in the spirit of elevating relationships of all kinds.

Ask instead of assuming you know their truths and speak up instead of assuming they “should” know yours.

Pause instead of pointing fingers; reflect instead of rejecting. Know that unless you’ve walked the very path they’re trodding, you really know very little – and vice versa!

Extend grace as you’re also seeking it. Hold at the forefront of your mind that each day and each personal encounter should begin and end the same – with love as the central force.

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How to Make the Rest of This Year the Best of This Year

Can you believe we’re in mid-June and 2018 is half over?
No worries – there’s still enough year left to reboot, regroup and refocus.
Revisit your goals, set new deadlines and get moving.
Practice more self-care, whatever that looks like for you.
Try something new (a meal, a place, an activity) and open your mind to enjoying it.
Say no to whatever feels like settling.
If someone else’s “good enough” is your “almost but not quite,” trust yourself and be patient.
Make new friends, but keep the old.
Forgive yourself, and others too. It’s freeing.
Start positive new habits while gently kissing goodbye those actions, attitudes and encounters that no longer serve you.
Hug yourself. Respect yourself.
Water your soul with loving thoughts and words and watch yourself grow.
Be fair with others, even when they are unkind. Your grace could be the antidote to whatever is causing them to act in unbecoming ways; and if nothing else, you’ll walk in the joy of knowing that you remained your best self.
Be grateful for your allies, supporters and loved ones. People change and tribal members do, too; but your day-in and day-out loyalists are worth cherishing.
Move forward – one thought, one prayer, one choice, one step at a time. This all can add up to a powerful transformation.

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Got Goals? Refocus to Reach Them

Just a month into the New Year have you abandoned your goals or exceeded them?

Have you given up halfway there or talked yourself out of even trying? During this final week of January, take some time to recalibrate and refocus.
Stand up and start again.

Create your own brief list of tasks – not necessarily for what you want to DO this week, but for who you want to BE because of what you do. 

List your WHY as well as your HOW.

Say WHEN as well as WHAT.

Look yourself in the eye (in the mirror) and ask yourself, “Why not me?” Then go for it, with all you’ve got.

When you firmly choose the path you want to walk, your dreams and desires will manifest along the way.

~ Stacy Hawkins Adams

Channeling Joy

Today I’m channeling the former queen of daytime TV…
You get some joy, she gets some joy, he gets some joy, we ALL get some joy!
There’s enough to go around and it’s not one-size-fits-all or first come, first served.
Look within and listen. Start living your soul’s dream. You’ll see – your joy will flow.                 

                  ~ Stacy Hawkins Adams