June!

How did we get halfway through 2022? Hopefully with some beauty, some growth and lots of gratitude.
#welcomejune #LifeUntapped #lifemusings

We move through life in ways that are both unique to us and collectively familiar, and perhaps many of you join me in wondering how half of this year has zoomed by.

Welcome to June!

Some of the things I’ve come to appreciate about the first half of 2022 are the experiences that have stretched me the most, and in the process, helped me get to know myself all the better while appreciating others as they are.

I make that sound easy, but we all know this is where the work lies!

In these six months I have learned to find peace in surrendering to every day’s measure of work, rest, hope, contentment, and mutual giving and sharing.

I invite you to reflect on your highlights and challenges thus far, too, and to celebrate how far you’ve come, while seeking lessons from the valleys you’ve traversed and the mountains you’ve scaled.

There’s so much to reflect on and grow from, and in some cases celebrate, including the simple gifts of each day and the aha moments that have opened your heart.

So, with what I pray are miles to go, I say hello to June, and to the possibilities and promises the rest of this year holds. They are ours for the taking, if we’ll believe, trust and invite these blessings in, however they come.

Words Matter

“I am tired, just fatigued.”

I spoke those words in a meeting with acquaintances yesterday as we chatted about the recent wave of hate crime murders in Buffalo, NYC and other cities.

We had no idea as we gathered that horror was unfolding in Texas, and when I learned about the school shooting last night, I had no words.

I was left speechless because words seemingly haven’t served as a shield.

Yet, I realized this morning that while they may be rambling or awkward or filled with trepidation, words do matter.

Words still hold power.

Words can be the first step to keeping hate from having the final say.

So we must use them, however imperfectly,

to voice our anger,

to share our collective pain,

to let the families of these 19 murdered children and their two teachers know they don’t grieve alone;

to speak the names of those who were killed yesterday,

and in recent weeks, and even over the years,

so that these men, women and children don’t become invisible casualties in the hate that seeks to become a societal norm.

We must speak up and speak out, because regardless of whether we personally know victims of gun violence and hate crimes,

humanity is deeper than DNA.

We are our brothers only keepers.

We are our sisters only keepers.

We are our children’s collective keepers, too, and we cannot quit on the job.

When one soars we all benefit. When one is harmed, we should all be hurting.

I can only imagine how every teacher, principal and school official aches today – wanting to protect your “school babies” yet having to talk to them about murder.

I still have no words that can make it any better. But I hope that knowing I care helps.

Because I am a woman of faith I am indeed praying for God to bring comfort to the families and all who are grieving.

Because I‘ve long lent my voice to child advocacy issues, I also will lean into seeking out ways to support changes in policies and laws that can make a positive difference.

I will continue to vote.

I will stand for good in other tangible ways, on an ongoing basis, even when silence could be easier.

So yes, I am tired.

And yes, my heart is broken.

And yes, I’m at a loss for perfectly poised words.

But even so, this post matters, and your words and actions do, too.

Please, please use them to help staunch the hate and end the violence.

14 Ways to Treasure It All

I’ve been reminded in various ways these first 90-plus days of 2022 to not take anything or anyone for granted – including yourself.

Treasure it all.

Stop to smell the roses.

Eat the cake without counting the calories.

Exercise not because you should, but because you can. 

Apologize sincerely, regardless of whether it’s acknowledged.

Forgive freely, even when it’s not requested.

Give thanks for your blessings; appreciate the lessons. 

Stretch yourself. Relax yourself. Enjoy yourself. 

Breathe more deeply, more often.

Smile more.

Laugh more.

Love more.

Pay attention, with intention.

For this is the journey called life, and yours is yours alone to treasure.

Introducing…On Womanhood

Seven years ago I launched an online mentoring program for aspiring writers called Focused Writers (www.focused-writers.com), not knowing that this intimate space for learning about writing and publishing would not only lead to books and blogs being birthed by members, but also to a tribe of mutual support.

When some of the members approached me about writing something together, I finally agreed, and in January 2021 we embarked upon a yearlong Mastermind Class of sorts, with me guiding them through every aspect of publishing – from idea stage to finished book.

Members have participated in every way along the way, from writing to editing to proofreading to formatting to designing the cover, and I’m delighted to share our “book baby” of personal essays – On Womanhood: Connecting and Thriving in Every Season.

Thanks to my friend and mentor Daphne Reid for writing our Foreword and to Chandra Sparks Splond for serving as our external editor. And most importantly, to our talented cover artist and Focused Writer member Dawn Edge Campbell.

We hope you love the cover as much as we do!

Also exciting for us as we release this book just in time for Women’s History Month in March, is our collective agreement to donate 100 percent of the proceeds from sales made from February 22 through March 31 to the YWCA USA.

Back in my reporter days, I covered a range of social issues, including writing stories about women working their way off of welfare, fleeing abusive relationships and learning to advocate for themselves and their children.

I also wrote about the organizations and nonprofits designed to support them, including the YWCA, whose mission is to empower women and eradicate racism.

So when my Focused Writers mentees decided to write a book together, title it On Womanhood, and donate a portion of proceeds from sales, the YWCA USA was a natural choice.

I am a six-year board member of the YWCA Richmond and can vouch firsthand for the staff’s dedication to serving women and children, in a myriad of ways.

Yet, we have chosen to contribute to the YWCA USA because our Focused Writers anthology authors are based around the nation – from Las Vegas to Houston to Savannah to Richmond. And each writer will be reaching out to her local branch, too.

So in addition to buying our short collection and supporting a great cause in the process, also take some time to learn more about the YWCA USA and the YWCA in your local area!

Stacy and the Focused Writers members featured in the anthology On Womanhood: Connecting and Thriving In Every Season
(Nailah-Benā Chambers, Margo Clifford, Jacqueline S. Owensby, Njeri Mathis Rutledge, Jackie Hunter, Wanda S. Lloyd, Cassie Edwards Whitlow, Belinda Todd, DaNika Neblett Robinson, Rita Flores Moore and Stacy Hawkins Adams.)

Every Life Matters

So many people are stunned by the tragic death of former Miss USA Cheslie Kryst. And that of actress Regina King’s son. And perhaps the suicide of someone you know.

We must not let this become the next pandemic.

Check on people in your circle – and check the “petty” at the door.

Remind yourself that being kind is often more important than being right, because there’s often a story behind someone’s anger, silence, odd behavior, etc. 

You don’t have to be the judge and jury. 

Your call – our call – is to grant more grace and to love unconditionally.

Even if it’s from a different source, it will indeed boomerang in our favor.

Prayers and peace to all who are grieving, and heartfelt hugs to anyone who is suffering. Please keep reaching out until someone hears you. Your life matters.

Sacrificing Season

You get to define what success looks and feels like for you – which means you also must decide what will get you from here to there.

Those considered great among us can confirm that their success required (and requires) sacrifice – even when they make it look easy. 

So what are you willing to sacrifice in the short term to see that vision or goal become your permanent reality? How will you be a better steward of your purpose or dream?

As I continue to “bake” a new book – and prepare a few surprises for readers friends along the way – it is requiring some sacrifice.

Less TV time and limited hangout time, just for a season. Earlier morning risings. Deeper dwelling in my “writing cave.”

Additional quiet time to reflect, brainstorm and be. (For writers, this is part of the process.)So if you have a writer in your life, grant us some grace if you see us staring off in space or at a blank wall. We’re creating!


And for everyone else moving in your flow, don’t apologize for needing to shut things down for a while. Your results will someday offer clarity on your behalf. Stay the course, and win in your own way.

Trust Yourself

In these final few weeks of 2021, take some time to sit with yourself and just be.

Settle your heart and accept all that has been and

Renew your hope for all that could be.

Seek wisdom and listen to wise counsel; then trust yourself and that muse in your soul. 

Some dreams are so big and some callings so powerful that you’ll be paving the way into unfamiliar territory; so of course everyone won’t understand. 

Trust the seed that God has placed in your heart.

Drown out your fears and ignore naysayers’ worries.

Believe that even in a pandemic you can deliver something amazing.

Envision the future you desire, and even as you keep climbing, start living in expectation.

You’ve got this. Trust yourself. Get ready to receive.

Expecting Less, Caring More = Grace

During a leadership event I attended this evening, a new acquaintance informed me about a trauma-relief organization for adults that she leads in the Richmond region called Robin’s Hope.

She and her staff are running 20 groups, 7 days a week, mostly virtual she said, to help people with all kinds of grief, trauma and mental distress.

That level of need blew me away, yet it is very real, across the land.

Nod to UNC-Chapel Hill for acknowledging the mental health crisis unfolding on its campus right now.

Perhaps it’s time we individually take on the charge. I challenge you to look around you, my friend, and be extra kind to those who seem a bit sad, stressed, withdrawn or even overly chipper.

We may not be comfortable yet giving random hugs, but random messages of “Hello” “Have a nice day” “I see you” “I will help you” and “I’m here for you” matter.

Let’s do our best to see each other through this global health pandemic. As you extend more grace to others, also be open to receiving it, because you matter, too.

What’s In Your Bag?

Nothing can trump my love of being near water, but being in the mountains is a close second.

A recent weekend visit to Carter’s Mountain in Charlottesville didn’t disappoint, and in the days to come, I’ll enjoy some of the fruit of my efforts – handpicked apples that I mostly pulled from trees myself.

The pic below was taken before my bag was full, but I left the mountain with it bulging with some delicious apples and a few gems for life.

For what we choose to fill our bags with can both feed us and fuel us. No one gets the mix right 100 percent of the time – my sweet tooth wins more often than it should. However, just enough filling of goodness, wisdom, love and hope can add weight and substance in our life’s favor.

What will you fill your proverbial bag with today? This week?

I’m throwing in some creative juices for my writing,

some sneakers for the miles I want to walk,

some generosity and fun for myself and my loved ones,

some courage to push past fear and take a few more risks,

some prayer for those who are grieving or angry with the world,

and some kindness and grace for all I encounter.

Be intentional. Make sure you enjoy filling the “bags” you’ll carry along your way.

You’ll be more likely to find them weighed down with blessings and lessons you won’t mind holding onto.

30 Minutes To Success

A friend and I have been challenging each other to get things done this fall, and to take baby steps, if necessary.

We check in once a week with a reminder to devote at least 30 minutes that day to our goal.

No matter how busy I am that day, can I fit in at least 30 minutes of creative writing? And can she accomplish an art-related task or project for at least half an hour?

We both are certainly devoting more time throughout the week to our endeavors, but this check-in at the start of each week is a helpful reminder that if we put our minds to it, we can do it.

Encouragement and climbing together matter.

Consider finding yourself a challenge partner – one who won’t stress you out or condemn you on the days you falter – someone whose gentle belief in you will help you believe in your dreams all the more.

You’ve got this – one step, half-hour commitment, or day at a time.