inspirational blogs – Page 8 – Still Unfolding with Stacy Hawkins Adams

A Love Manifesto for Christmas

I’ve discovered over time that most of the cliches about love we recite earned their status as “tried and true” phrases for a reason. They hold weight and worth that can’t be disputed, including the reality that choosing to unconditionally love yourself helps you authentically love others.

This doesn’t mean it’s easy – especially in a world that tells us we’re not smart enough, thin enough, wealthy enough, and in some cases, fair-skinned enough. Those outer voices often can - and do – drown out the truth.

It’s for this very reason that we must dig in the heels of our hearts and stare back at the face in the mirror with compassion and empathy, time and time again. We must acknowledge whatever flaws we think we see, smile at them and bless them. We must gaze into those tender eyes we own and tell ourselves that we are worthy of being seen and heard because we matter.

Try it and try again, until this rinse and repeat cycle shifts from feeling like an awkward exercise into a steady and welcomed recognition that resonates within. Because you can, and should, love yourself with abandon.

When the process gets off track, do a personal reset and keep growing. You’ll be compelled to summon the courage to love yourself, and as a result, others up close. You’ll also find yourself accepting the need to sometimes love others from afar.

The key to your mastery? Making the choice to never give up on you, and to always lead with love, and with an open heart.

Grieving During the Holidays

Let’s talk about grief.

I posted the message below eight years ago today, right after my sister Pat’s passing.

As I head into my late mother’s birthday tomorrow, and the 1st anniversary of my brother’s Dec. 20 passing,

and hold in my heart friends and loved ones who are grappling with loss during the holidays, I find it important to share these words again-

to remind you that grief is a necessary part of life and to love yourself through it.

Please read on, then doing something kind for yourself today.

I’m completing some writing projects this morning,

getting a massage this afternoon, and

spending time with friends this evening.

Sending a virtual hug to all who need it and encouraging you to cherish good memories.

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Treasure the Treasures of this Season

In these days leading up to Thanksgiving and the official kickoff of the holiday season, I offer you three challenges:

1. Be fully present

Be fully present in all of all the simple, significant and in-between moments spent with friends and loved ones – like the few minutes of fun I savored with a sweet and smart young friend during our joint travels earlier this year.

2. Offer grace and kindness

Offer more patience and grace to those whose grief may be sharper and deeper during the holidays, when their loved one’s absence is all the more real. I’ll be spending Thanksgiving with some who are in this space, and I’m still missing my big brother, who passed away 11 months ago, five days before Christmas. It is the memories we hold and the stories we are welcomed to share about them that will carry us through.

3. Be intentional

Be intentional about leaving everyone you encounter better than you found them. Make those memories and record them. Light a candle for the cherished family and friends who are no longer physically with you.

Move with love and gratitude

And trust that love and light will always win. Give it, be ready to receive it, and keep saying Thank You along the way.

Because Everyone Matters

There are so many good and exciting things happening in this season for so many of us, while destruction continues to befall many around the world.

This is the yin and yang of life, and also the reason to keep watch over our hearts, our thoughts, our words and our choices.
We may feel helpless, but what we CAN control or contribute to, we must.

Our truths matter, and so do our hope and faith, and our ability to see others and seek to understand them.

Let’s not give up on goodness or each other.
Pray for peace in the Middle East, and for peace in many of the cities, towns and homes across our nation.

Instead of bending toward the culture and a “by any means necessary” existence, what if we tried living with a “because everyone matters” perspective?

Your one shift, and someone else’s one shift, and my one shift could perhaps, together, shake the world.

Here’s Why You’re a Super Hero, Too

I wasn’t planning to share this on social, because it was such a special moment between my son and me.

However, in the past few weeks I’ve had conversations with several other moms who are in the trenches of parenting, and chatting with them reminded me that sometimes when you’re in the middle of a thing, you can’t envision the difference your commitment is making.

These conversations also reminded me that when I was raising young children and then adolescents, there were moms ahead of me on the journey who encouraged me to keep pouring and loving and correcting and guiding, and to trust that the seeds being planted and the care being rendered were a worthy investment.

It is with this in mind (and with his permission) that I share this sweet note that my 22-year-old son surprised me with back in August, upon finding an old English paper amid his belongings before he returned to college for senior year.

It reads “You are my super hero!” and the note explains that he had described me as such in a paper written during his sophomore year.

In the paper, he explored how super heroes often steal away to transform into their “super selves” and change the world for the better. In my case, he indicated that my super power was writing.

He detailed how, as a young child, he often watched me focus on completing my manuscripts on some weekends and some evenings, and rather feeling resentful, witnessing me fulfill a dream that would give hope and enjoyment to others made him proud.

What a gift that note and the recently found essay were to my mama soul!

And what a powerful reminder that our babies are watching us, and in doing so, learning how to write their own super hero stories.

So, to my friends who are in the hands-on stages of parenting: Don’t let weariness cause you to give up or despair. Trust that just as your efforts to nurture your children and guide their dreams is a gift to them, so is your persistence in leaning into your own heart songs and life’s calling.

You are their super hero, and someday I’m confident that in their own ways, they’ll tell you.

Share with Your Friends!

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How Creating creates Joy

I’ve been exercising my creative juices for the past month on a small, but special project that I’m excited to share with you soon.

What I’ve loved as much as the process of refining the words and getting the aesthetics just right (with a gifted artistic partner) are the friends and fam who have offered feedback and edits, burned the midnight oil with me to ensure that I create in excellence, and reminded me that as “Ms. #LifeUntapped” not only CAN I think and move outside the creative box of titles and genres, I betta!

This is what rising together takes.

Iron sharpens iron.

Vision multiplies vision.

Shoulders lower so you can climb aboard.

What matters most is the art itself.

There’s a tired-but-happy place feeling that centers you as you’re producing it, and eventually the joy that comes with hearing readers express renewed hope or joy or value after experiencing your words.

More to come on this project in early October. In the meantime, thank you to my tribe! When it’s your turn, the rising, sharpening, encouragement and lowered-shoulder moments will come full circle.

Center Yourself to Soar

Trees offer a reminder of the importance of finding balance in life – standing tall, resilient and beautiful on your own, yet being planted close enough to a neighbor, friend or loved one to send encouragement, share special moments and extend some love.

This week, may you succeed with both. Enjoy your time alone and make room to dance with others.

For it is in spending time with you that you discover how you’re meant to uniquely impact the world. And it is in doing life together, with likeminded souls on a positive trajectory, that we rise. Embrace life’s duality and enjoy this season of your journey.

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Press Through & Rest Through

Around this time a year ago, I was slowly beginning to reclaim my time, after experiencing daily headaches for most of 2022.

Can I tell you how grateful I am at this juncture to read, write, travel, have fun and chillax at my own pace, through God’s grace?

So as I prep for some exciting opportunities this fall – and yes – some of them include writing projects – I don’t take for granted that each day and each experience is a gift.

People say I stay busy, but trust me – I “stay resting” and meditating, too, and it has helped me continue to grow and glow.

Wherever you find yourself on your life’s journey in this season, listen to your heart, your spirit and your body.

Press your way when called for,

Rest your way when called for,

and understand that both are necessary and helpful.

And when those seasons of doing and dancing and planning return, never forget what you’ve been through, because it makes where you’re going all the more special.

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Focus Forward

Can you believe there’s just over 4 months left in 2023? Make the most of this day, this week and the seasons ahead.

You matter and so does what you choose to embrace.

Lean into what feeds your soul and forgive yesterday’s troubles.

Choose joy and focus forward.

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Who is this Season Calling You to Be?

My meditation and writing time one morning last week yielded this gem for the main character in the fiction I’m writing, and I have to share, because it’s a word for us, too:

Sometimes we have to give up who we once were, or how we’ve always done something, in order to embrace who we’re meant to be in THIS season. What worked for you a decade ago, or maybe even a year ago, was for that stage, age or chapter.
Stacy Hawkins Adams

So keep learning and leading and loving.
Get excited about your present, and for what’s to come, because now you get a chance to write your next chapters with the clarity, confidence and intention that will be relevant for what the world needs now, and for the purpose and peace that are your birthright.

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