Still Unfolding with Stacy Hawkins Adams
Inspiring You to Embrace Your Life's Purpose & Possibilities
By Stacy Hawkins Adams
Here we are in September – the launching month for fall and the last quarter of 2017. What will you do with this new beginning?
It’s never too late to learn something new, strengthen a weakness and be a better you.
Don’t be defined by a past that’s now just a distant memory. Write a few new pages in your story that will make your journey all the more worth remembering. Someday you’ll be grateful you did.
By Stacy Hawkins Adams
I took my teen son to an empty school parking lot on Sunday afternoon to practice driving and a police officer pulled him over.
I was in the passenger seat, and the officer asked my permission to chat with Mini-Me #2.
Sgt. Hugate (who gave me permission to use his name) had watched my son practice signaling and turning and parking for about half an hour before motioning for him to stop, with a smile and a welcoming gesture.
With my consent, he spent about 10 minutes sharing his perspective as a member of law enforcement about how Mini-Me #2, as a teen driver, could stay safe if/when pulled over.
Before he launched into the advice, he led with his heart, telling Mini-Me #2:
– He spent the day before driving around a similar school parking lot teaching his own son how to drive, so he knew how meaningful and memorable the task at hand was.
– Everyday when he goes to work, he wants to be sure to make it home to his family; so the advice he was prepared to share was designed to keep both my son and him safe.
Then he walked through how an officer typically approaches a vehicle and explained that an alert officer is always on guard because he never knows who or what he may encounter when making a routine traffic stop – regardless of race, gender, age, etc.
Next, he told Mini-me #2 a few things that most parents of color often share already with their adolescent sons and daughters, during what we call “The Talk:”
– Keep your hands visible at all times. (He demonstrated where to position them on the steering wheel and suggested that placing them on driver’s side windowsill would be another option.)
– Over-communicate about every single move you make, from shifting to reach for your license to reaching to open your door.
– Stay calm and respectful and respond to all questions when asked. (Most people actually talk themselves INTO getting tickets, he said, because they can’t manage to stay calm.)
– If the situation permits, before placing your hands on the steering wheel or outside the window, call a parent and put him/her on speakerphone, so that there is a “third party witness to keep both of us safe.”
My son appreciated the feedback, which reinforced messages he has already heard from me and his dad and others in our “village.”
Sgt. Hugate, who is Caucasian, looked Mini-Me squarely in the eyes while informing him that yes – there are indeed some cops who shouldn’t be wearing badges or in the law enforcement field, because they don’t do what is right or good; but he is not one of them.
We didn’t discuss Charlottesville, Trayvon Martin, or any of the senseless violence that has occurred in many instances in between. In those few minutes in that high school parking lot, the olive branch he extended was an aha moment that even some officers are willing to be real and honest about the realities of what it takes to stay safe in this day and time.
Everyone wants to make it home alive.
Note: This post first appeared on Stacy’s Facebook page, on August 13, 2017. Due to the tremendous response it has received, she is posting it here and also on her Huffington Post blog.
By Stacy Hawkins Adams
Ever heard the phrase Don’t just talk about it, be about it?
It offers a nudge to stop explaining what we would do if there weren’t obstacles and to start doing something – anything – that moves us in the direction of our dreams.
A guest minister at the Virginia church I attend delivered an electrifying message yesterday that reiterated the importance of growing past one’s comfort zone. Her tone wasn’t fiery, but the truths she delivered were, and I thought they were worth sharing. Here’s a paraphrased summary of the wisdom she imparted to encourage each listener to get up and get moving:
– If you really want something different, act like it.
– Don’t talk about wanting a change while settling comfortably into your longtime (uncomfortable) status quo, and don’t expect anyone else to do your heavy lifting.
– When you get serious about growing as a person and enlarging your territory, your desires can direct you to your destiny.
– Exceptional desire yields exceptional results.
– Every inch you take toward a new destiny moves you closer to actually achieving it, no matter how small your movement and no matter how long it takes. Your effort, multiplied by God’s grace, will get you there in His perfect timing.
– Do what you must in order to thrive, not just survive.
As the guest minister advised in her closing, we each must find the courage to stop living where we are not challenged, because in challenge comes change, and in change comes growth and opportunities to live out our unique purpose.
Are you up to the task? Are you ready to shift – to actual
ly receive what you’ve long claimed you want? If so, now is the time. Today is your day. Go seize your victory – one prayer, coupled with one step, at a time.
(Note: The guest minister’s sermon was based on John 5:2-9.)
TGIF! Make this a “just because” kinda day.
Do a random act of kindness “just because.”
Hold your tongue “just because.”
Smile “just because.”
Give thanks “just because.”
Forgive “just because.”
Have fun “just because.”
Be happy “just because.”
All because life is a gift worth cherishing – your own as well as others.
#LifeUntapped
By Stacy Hawkins Adams
How is your week, your month, your year going so far?
Note to Readers: I penned this post earlier this week for members of the private writers community I curate, Focused Writers Membership Group. I rarely (if ever) share publicly the messages and encouragement I reserve for group members; but today I felt compelled to cast a wider net, and ask you to take a step back or two steps forward, and look at your life from a “big picture” perspective. This post focuses on writing because I mentor writers; but you can change my references to writing to whatever best fits your goal or dream, and do the same self-examination.
Take the first step and honestly answer these questions. Then take the next step and make adjustments that will yield the responses you long to manifest.
Regardless of whether you see yourself as a writer, the process of writing your vision – in a notebook or journal, on your computer screen or in the notes section of your smartphone – will help make it real. Perhaps writing down your plans and the path you’re taking to pursue those plans, will make them more official, for you and others. So here we go….
Take some time to reflect on where you started on Monday of this week, in early May or even at the dawn of 2017, and measure your progress. Are you satisfied that you’re still on track to where you want to be by this time next year?
Now, imagine yourself 20 years from today, looking back over your life. What would you like to have accomplished?
Writing-wise, in particular:
– How many books written? Or
– How many followers for your blog? Or
– How many audiences impacted by your speeches? Or
– How many readers touched by your essays and articles?
What does writing success look like to you, and what are you doing today to bring that vision to life, so that in the year 2037, you’ll be holding those finished products in your hands, and in multiple ways sharing them with a younger generation? (Remember, quantifying the number of books, followers, audie
nces and readers you reach is simply quantifying the number of lives you’re touching.)
Let’s get busy, my friend. Why not take the few days left in the month of May to write the vision, so that you can begin executing it, in June and beyond? You are your own master storyteller. Decide today in which direction your next chapters will go.
Want to join Focused Writers Membership Community? Learn more here.
By Stacy Hawkins Adams
I had an interesting conversation with a friend recently about what mid-life holds. Is it a point at which you look back and reflect on opportunities missed, hopes dashed, dreams deferred and resign yourself to whatever may come?
Or, do you see yourself at 40-, 50- or 60-something (and beyond) on the verge of new opportunities, just waiting to be seized? Your perspective, and the actions you take as a result, make all the difference.
Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote her first novel in the Little House on the Prairie book series when she was 65.
One of my mentors sought and obtained her master’s degree in her early 70s.
I read an article recently about Etta Baker, a mother of nine who appeared on her first album recording as a blues guitarist in her 40s and went on to record a solo album at age 78 and perform with musical greats well into her late 80s.
More examples abound. 
So what chapters are you continuing to craft for the story of your life?
It’s not over until you decide to stop reaching, seeking, growing and pursuing. If you dream it and put some strategic thought, muscle and focus behind it, you can do it.
Don’t give up on you.
By Stacy Hawkins Adams
Monday Musings: Anything you do from the heart is never wasted. The time and effort you invest – in nurturing yourself or advancing others – will pay dividends, often when you least expect.
So keep sowing, keep sharing, keep dreaming, keep doing, keep hoping, keep loving and trust your “seeds” to someday blossom into beauty all around you.
Still Unfolding with Stacy Hawkins Adams 