Five years ago today, I posted the photo and the sentiments below about the start of September and the looming end of this year. All these years later, this digital journal entry of sorts still resonates and feels worth sharing.
As you launch into September 2024, may my reflections on walking my life’s path encourage you to more fully appreciate your own:
I entered the first day of September (2019) with a morning trek along a path that was brand new to me. It was beautiful, breezy and serene.
I talked to God, and then I stilled myself to listen, even as my feet kept moving.
Then I saw it – a juncture in the road where the paved path yielded to gravel – leading to uncultured, unknown territory, and to a bend around which I could not see.
I advanced a few feet, then retreated, deciding to explore more fully on another day.
For in that moment, I had all I needed – fresh air, a lush green setting and a visual reminder that at every turn, I am loved, worthy and deserving of joy. That was the response that filled my listening heart.
That walk reminded me that even when we’re on the right path, we’ll encounter some pebbles, stones, rough patches and dirt. We won’t always know the end before we begin or even when we’re mid-journey. Yet, that’s why it’s so important to enjoy each step of the journey itself and to find value in each phase.
In the right season, at the appointed time, we will discover the beauty around those bends, and perhaps appreciate the extra effort (courage?) required to get there.
Wherever we are on our path today, we can lean into the truths of how God has already blessed us. Think back over your life for a few minutes and count the ways.
Then, set your intentions, determine what you’ll do next (or how you’ll surrender), and say “thank you” in advance for the good that lies ahead – on paved roads, gravelly paths, wood trails and all.
A late afternoon appointment yesterday took me to an area of town I used to frequent. As I passed the large lake with the walking trails I used to enjoy, I remembered the sneakers I keep in my trunk and decided that my Wednesday evening walk would be one down memory lane.
My trek around the lake was lovely and peaceful, and many of the markers I’d seen many times before struck me differently this time.
The matted goose “matter” I had to navigate along one tiny stretch of the otherwise pristine path was a reminder that sometimes we have to navigate around or through life’s muck and keep going, with our purposeful goal in mind.
The sign asking walkers to use an underground tunnel, rather than cross the busy street to get from one side to the other, served as a metaphor for us sometimes needing to take the less-glitzy path to reach our destiny in a safe and timely manner.
The Environmental Protection Area sign? A nod to remember that rules of conduct matter. What if we set boundaries around our hopes and dreams and hearts that allowed others to connect with us, yet only in enriching ways?
And then there were the lake, the small bridges and the path itself. All organic reminders of the Creator’s talent and majesty, and of our privilege to experience it – with the only cost being to help preserve it.
What a walk. On a familiar path, yet enjoyed with child-like wonder.
Wherever your To Do List or path leads you today, consider experiencing some of it in silence, so you can fully see and hear what being present in those moments reveals to you.
My mile-long adventure yielded gratitude that will linger.
Stacy’s shots along her walk. Chesterfield County, Virginia
Life is a gift that is meant to be unwrapped. Make the most of it by honoring those whispers in your heart.
You may not get it right the first time, but a misstep may be part of your personal tango. A delay may not be a denial, and you shouldn’t automatically place a period where perhaps God is simply inserting a comma, for you to pause.
And guess what? U-Turns and detours are allowed, too.
On life’s path, listening, learning and walking out your destiny may require some or all of the above.
Just remember that there’s nothing lost or wasted if you’re paying attention and embracing the lessons you encounter along the way.
New visions and goals are also permissible. Challenge yourself to approach those opportunities with confidence, wisdom and self-respect.
Keep living life to the fullest – whatever that looks like for you in this season – and remember to give thanks along the way.
Be the bigger person, no matter the curveballs tossed your way.
Embrace a glass-half-full attitude and
Find silver linings in the surprises along your path.
Whatever the audience, show up in a way that honors who you are.
Speak truth with grace and let the rest take care of itself.
Keep your eyes on the prize (your singular and beautiful purpose)
And continue to take the world by storm
With your own unique brand of hope, laughter and love –
The greatest of these being Love.
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You are the keeper and magnifier of your dreams; yet those who walk with you matter, too.
Surround yourself with people who believe in you, encourage you and speak the truth – even when it equals tough love.
May those who walk in front of you pull you along when necessary and those who walk behind you gently push – whatever it takes to help you keep going, stay focused and achieve your goals with your integrity, confidence, joy and soul intact.
This is how you grow and thrive, and ultimately how you learn to invest in something bigger than yourself.
Blessings are circular and connected.
All of us who succeed do so because of others’ loving support.
A friend invited me to dinner on Juneteenth a few weeks ago, and when I crossed her threshold, she placed a book in my hand that touched my heart.
The title alone – Grief is Love – met me in the season I’m currently walking through and made me smile with gratitude. I share this book with you today, because while my losses are fresh and still sitting with me as I carve out a new normal, I know that I’m not alone on this challenging yet sacred journey.
Having lost my two eldest siblings in less than two years, and both around significant seasons, has led me into a season of giving myself extra grace.
Some of you may recall that my only brother passed away a few days before Christmas in December 2022. My eldest sister graduated to Heaven less than 90 days ago, three days after my daughter’s wedding, while still in town for the festivities.
And while my ache from the passing of my sister Pat eight years ago is no longer fresh, as my first sibling to enter Heaven, she’s also top of mind these days. I am the youngest of five, with one living sibling to physically cherish.
Many of you are freshly grieving the death of someone you love, too, or soothing your heart after being triggered into revisiting a not-so-new loss.
Either way, I’m here to gently remind you – as I daily remind myself – that it is okay to have our moments of teary reflection and to be tender with ourselves.
If you’re a person of faith like me, you can remind yourself that even Jesus wept upon his beloved friend Lazarus’ death – and He knew he could (and would) raise Lazarus from the dead.
If you are seeking other ways to process your loss, there are multiple resources available to you, from books like this one, to grief coaches and professional therapists to music and meditation. Follow your heart as you find your way.
My season of abundant self-care and self-reflection has required me to be patient with me.
I still owe some beloved friends thank you notes for the beautiful ways you reached out to me in April, right after my most recent loss. Forgive my faux pas and know that I am truly grateful.
Nature is my friend, and my quiet walks with God and myself have given me strength.
The friends and family who have allowed me to bend your ears, and who still hold space for my tears, without judgment, are my personal national treasures. Your gifts of presence are acts of healing.
And of course, I am writing and praying my way forward. Sometimes for me, the two are intertwined; and as I often tell the writers I mentor, the gems you pour into your journal will surprise you in the ways they serve you. Write and go with the flow.
As Marisa Renee Lee, the author of “Grief is Love” writes: The foundation of a full life after loss is love. It is choosing to continue to love your person in present tense. It is moving forward with life, bringing them with you.”
As we move forward, may we all do so in ways that we know would make our specific person – or people – proud. Perhaps because of what we’re doing, but most importantly, because of who we are still becoming.
This time last week, I was wrapping up a visit to Savannah, Georgia, where I had an opportunity to gather with some of my favorite people – women I’ve coached over the past 8 years through Focused Writers, an online membership community I founded to support budding authors.
Stacy Hawkins Adams and members of her Focused Writers coaching group.
I am sunsetting this version of my coaching service as I prepare to launch a new model in 2025.
Our farewell month for the group included this “girls trip” to Savannah.
We strolled River Street, dined at the famous (and delicious) Mrs. Wilkes’ Dining Room and enjoyed a seafood boil at the beautiful home of our group member Wanda Lloyd.
Wanda invited local Gullah-Geechee storyteller (and recent TEDx Savannah speaker) Lillian Grant-Baptiste to join us for an evening of conversation about the power of oral and written stories, and their role in preserving culture and history. Lillian enthralled us with a performance of one of her works.
And I read my first draft of an inspirational nonfiction piece that I hope spoke to the women’s hearts.
Today, “writing in Savannah” (among other things) is on my To Do list, and I’ve scored a perfect pair of new readers to help me get it done.
Gullah-Geechee storyteller Lillian Grant-Baptiste
Part of that time will include penning some grateful reflections for having had an opportunity since 2015 to closely guide 30+ writers of all ages and stages through some facet of their writing journeys.
From as far as London, and from the East Coast to the West of the U.S.; from brand-new scribes to a veteran newspaper editor; from a global speaker and retired educators to a law professor and entrepreneurs, it has been my honor to mentor them through the birth and publication of their books, blogs, essays and articles; to prep them for traditional publishing opportunities and self-publishing journeys, and to advise how to market themselves and their work.
The most treasured aspect of Focused Writers has been the community of authentic care and support that we collectively built.
My pivot from hosting the group in its current membership format means new and exciting things are on the horizon. (Updates will be shared first with my newsletter subscribers. DM your email address to be added.)
However that unfolds next year, my mutual respect and care for these amazing alums, and others from the Focused Writers community, will endure!
Those are the words of my millennial daughter, Shelby, who frequently tells people that her Baby Boomer generation mother is in her third career.
Perhaps we Boomers took a lesson from actress Betty White, who once said: ““Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way.” White lived up to her own prediction by performing well into her 90s.
Like many in my generation, after officially “retiring” in 2013 as an editor in seven daily newspaper newsrooms, I kept working. I became a professor, an author, an essayist and opinion writer, podcaster and a community volunteer.
Working long and hard was ingrained in the professional corps of my generation. And now, Based on a recent survey, it seems like the work-until-forever trend may be the case with the Gen Z generation, those who are behind the Baby Boomers – albeit for a different reason.
In April 2024, AARP reported that 20% of adults ages 50+ have no retirement savings, and more than half (61%) are worried they will not have enough money to support themselves in retirement.
The parents of my Boomer generation worked for what now seem like unreasonably small wages, yet they were able to sustain households. The elders in my family, those whose health allowed them to live long enough to enjoy the fruits of their labor, used their relatively comfortable pensions and meager Social Security checks to enjoy hobbies, church activities and time with family. My elders didn’t seem to covet working after retirement.
Not me. Now in my mid-70s, I believe working keeps my mind sharp and my body agile. After I left my first career, I didn’t look forward to hobbies, and after decades of work-related travel I had little thirst for long vacations. My years as a newsroom leader were full of exciting challenges — hiring great staff, developing talent, the demands of breaking news and daily deadlines.
No day was like the day before. That’s the pace I kept, yet I knew it would be difficult to totally pump the brakes just because I was no longer working in newsrooms. I knew it was time to redefine myself professionally.
These days I encounter quite a few other retirees who have transitioned from one hard-working career to the next, some of them still earning money and some simply enjoying the satisfaction of volunteering.
After departing my last newsroom, the Montgomery Advertiser in Alabama, I stepped into the role as a university department chair and professor, landing back in the coastal Georgia hometown that I departed 45 years before. Then a few years later I decided to step away from academia, and I began my non-fiction writing career, which included two books published in 2020, followed by a COVID-inspired virtual book tour. These days I am a lecturer and moderator on topics of great interest to me. And I continue to mentor the next generation of journalists and aspiring authors.
For those who may be approaching retirement and wondering how to adapt to the next chapter of life, here are some insights from my experience.
Give yourself time to figure out the next step. When you officially “retire” you may first be overwhelmed with calls for opportunities to volunteer, lead projects, join boards or get involved with someone else’s projects. Take some time to rest, clean out your closets or plant a garden – whatever gives you pleasure as you ponder your next chapter.
Dress for a different kind of success. Speaking of cleaning closets, one of the things I discovered is that I had way too many professional clothes and not enough casual stuff. Grocery shopping in the middle of the day dressed in business casual attire was not cool. My advice: set aside a small budget for more casual stuff; find a consignment store or donate much of your professional wardrobe. Hard-working, cash-strapped GenX or millennial workers may appreciate the value of your recycled items.
Go for long walks (especially if you have a dog). I discovered that walks with my Bella are therapeutic and a great opportunity to meet neighbors, enjoy the changing seasons and think about life’s next steps. And, I found that some of my best writing ideas come to me while walking.
Find a new community. If you are antsy to get out of the house and enjoy social events, check out neighborhood websites or social media to see what’s going on around you. In my community, I joined The Learning Center, where members enjoy lectures and programs that enhance our knowledge of our community, the humanities and culture in the company of other active senior citizens. Many new friendships have been developed at the center.
Maintain career connections. Stay in touch with former career colleagues, especially those who are also retired or retiring soon. And make yourself available to mentor young people who aspire to grow in your career field. Young people need the wisdom of our experiences.
One lesson I learned about retirement was from TV personality Fred Rogers, who recorded “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood” until he was 72 years old. He said this about working life: “Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.”
Embrace that as you look for your own next beginning.
Photo credit: Jamie Weaver
Wanda Lloyd, an editor who worked at The Washington Post, USA Today and five other daily newspapers, is the author of COMING FULL CIRCLE: From Jim Crow to Journalism, and she is co-editor of MEETING AT THE TABLE: African-American Women Write on Race, Culture and Community.
I had an interesting conversation a while ago with a friend about what mid-life holds. Is it a juncture at which you look back on opportunities missed, hopes dashed, dreams deferred and resign yourself to whatever may come?
Or, do you see yourself at 40-, 50- or 60-something (and beyond) on the verge of new opportunities, just waiting to be seized?
Your perspective, and the actions you take as a result, make all the difference.
Laura Ingalls Wilder wrote the first novel in her Little House on the Prairie series when she was 65.
One of my mentors sought and obtained her master’s degree in her early 70s.
I read an article recently about Etta Baker, a mother of nine who recorded her first album appearance as a blues guitarist in her 40s and went on to perform with musical greats well into her late 80s.
More examples abound.
So what chapters are you continuing to craft for the story of your life?
It’s not over until you decide to stop reaching, seeking, growing and pursuing. If you dream it and put some strategic thought, muscle and focus behind it, you can do it.
Still Unfolding with Stacy Hawkins Adams 