Tag: holiday grief

Grieving During the Holidays

Let’s talk about grief.

I posted the message below eight years ago today, right after my sister Pat’s passing.

As I head into my late mother’s birthday tomorrow, and the 1st anniversary of my brother’s Dec. 20 passing,

and hold in my heart friends and loved ones who are grappling with loss during the holidays, I find it important to share these words again-

to remind you that grief is a necessary part of life and to love yourself through it.

Please read on, then doing something kind for yourself today.

I’m completing some writing projects this morning,

getting a massage this afternoon, and

spending time with friends this evening.

Sending a virtual hug to all who need it and encouraging you to cherish good memories.

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Treasure the Treasures of this Season

In these days leading up to Thanksgiving and the official kickoff of the holiday season, I offer you three challenges:

1. Be fully present

Be fully present in all of all the simple, significant and in-between moments spent with friends and loved ones – like the few minutes of fun I savored with a sweet and smart young friend during our joint travels earlier this year.

2. Offer grace and kindness

Offer more patience and grace to those whose grief may be sharper and deeper during the holidays, when their loved one’s absence is all the more real. I’ll be spending Thanksgiving with some who are in this space, and I’m still missing my big brother, who passed away 11 months ago, five days before Christmas. It is the memories we hold and the stories we are welcomed to share about them that will carry us through.

3. Be intentional

Be intentional about leaving everyone you encounter better than you found them. Make those memories and record them. Light a candle for the cherished family and friends who are no longer physically with you.

Move with love and gratitude

And trust that love and light will always win. Give it, be ready to receive it, and keep saying Thank You along the way.

Photo by David Tomaseti on Unsplash

What Loss Can Teach Us About Living

Someone I care about entered hospice a few days ago, beginning a process that is both dignity-rendering, yet leaking with sadness.

Only our Creator knows the exact time left, but this person would want no pity, and if possible, would be cracking jokes and setting you straight on your attitude and actions at every turn, with declarations that life is to be enjoyed and celebrated.

With that in mind, I issue this Wednesday Wisdom to:

Love on yourself more, just because. 

Tell others what they mean to you while you can (I have and I regularly do).

Cry when you feel like it.

Laugh every chance you get.

Forget about yesterday’s grudges. 

Love those who love you back.

Be kind to those whose rudeness often means they need more kindness.

Challenge yourself to leave everyone better than you found them – with what you say and what you don’t; by how you share and where you set boundaries; and by giving with no expectation of receiving.

Let your heart break. The only way through grief is through. 

Say Thank You for everything – because every breath, every day, and every person who crosses your path is in some way a gift.