Author: Stacy Hawkins Adams

Through her fiction and nonfiction, author, journalist and writing coach Stacy Hawkins Adams inspires readers (and budding writers) to find meaning in their own stories, grow from life's lessons and thrive. Like this post? Please leave a comment, then share it with others. Also visit Stacy at StacyHawkinsAdams.com to sign up for her newsletter, and friend/follow her on Instagram @StacyInspires, X(Twitter) @StacyInspires and Facebook @StacyInspires. Learn more about her coaching services at AuthorInYou.com.

Be good to yourself

I’ve been on a staycation this week and just a few days in, I feel like a new woman.

I’ve cleaned my fridge, and filled bags of clothes and other stuff to take to Goodwill and to a local church’s clothes closet.

I’ve hooked up a new computer (on my own), although my son chatted with me during the process, in case I needed tech support. Lol

I’ve fielded calls from my daughter, the bride-to-be, who is on the countdown to April.

I’ve chatted with a few friends daily and lunched with two.

I’ve turned down a brief road trip and a complimentary flight. Why?? To simply rest.

Which leads me to what has been the most meaningful part of this week so far:  allowing myself to sleep until my heart’s content and move at a “whenever I get to it” pace. (Today is my busy day for the week. I’ve scheduled a few appointments and virtual meetings, and if I owe you an email, it’s coming!)

My fellow author Saundra Dalton Smith, who penned the bestselling book Sacred Rest, would be proud.

Because rest is indeed sacred, and it opens up our well and our energy for creativity, deeper engagement with others, better appreciation for our blessed surroundings, and greater willingness to see and serve ourselves. (When our wells are full; we can healthily pour into others.) 

I haven’t paused this week because I’m ill(I feel great!); I’ve intentionally paused to ensure that my pace for 2024 remains measured and meaningful. 

I’ve paused to ensure that I center myself in being fully present and focused on enjoying the days, weeks and months to come.

This “rule of rest” for the week felt uncomfortable at first (those waiting-but-not-urgent emails and chapters to write taunted me), but as I’ve leaned into the leisure, I’m certain it’s preparing me to dive more joyfully and energetically into my storytelling projects and other professional endeavors, my volunteer activities, family milestone moments, looming travel, and much more. 

I’ve shared this, in part, as an invitation to join me. If your January was busier than expected, consider making time in February for your own sacred pause.

You may not be able to devote a week, but gift yourself a day (or a few) to lean into sleep – as much as your body craves – and enjoy some good food, laughter, and pampering yourself in simple ways that matter to you.

You are worth it. And so are the dreams, goals, work, relationships and legacy you are nurturing. Trust the timing of your life, and in the process, your preparation and strategic rest, will align. 

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Keep Seeking Joy

I recently came across a photo of myself that was taken during my senior year of college and I’ve kept it on my nightstand for an occasional chuckle. 

Yes, my pants are too big ( I was really petite back then and did my best! 😂) and yes, I remember where I was – in a friend’s dorm room, enjoying a surprise party thrown for me. 

I look like I’m singing because I was. But can I really sing? Sadly not. I had fun trying, though, with whatever song was playing at the time.

I look like I was acting silly because I was. And guess what? 

Beneath my sometimes reserved, often inspirational and occasionally feisty demeanor lies a woman who is still fun at heart and able to laugh at myself and with others.

I was 21 in this pic and considered grown.

What I’d tell that young girl from my now full-fledged adult state is actually what I exemplify in this photo: to always find joy in the small moments and sing (and dance) through the rest. 

That girl didn’t always get it right and neither do I; but both versions of me have been, and remain, grateful for love, laughter, grace, life lessons and the journey itself – gifts that never age or go out of style. 

This week, I challenge you to dig up a few of your own funny pics from the past and reflect on your treasured (or silly) moments from yesterday. May you be inspired to embrace new dreams, cut yourself and others some slack, and create more meaningful memories.

Stacy during her senior year of college.

Embracing My Year of Firsts — And Inviting You Into Yours

By Guest Blogger Lynn Lewis

As we settle into a new year, it’s a great time to reflect on the good of the year that has passed and assess how we have grown or blossomed. With this in mind, I invite you to spend a few moments with me, reflecting on some of the adventures, laughter, and unexpected twists that made my 2023 an extraordinary year of firsts. My journey unfolded with intention, leading to experiences that filled my heart with joy and my soul with a sense of discovery. As you read about my special firsts, consider what brought you hope last year and which of those pluses you may want to incorporate into your future.

I Signed Up for Laughter Yoga.

The journey began with laughter—pure, unbridled, snorting laughter in the form of Laughter Yoga at The Innerwork Center in Richmond, Virginia. Imagine this: a group of four, a cozy yoga studio, and the fusion of laughter and focused movement. We warmed up with simple exercises, gradually easing into a session of laughter charades that left us in stitches. It was silly, it was rewarding, and it set the tone for many more adventures to be had. The power of laughter, combined with the serenity of yoga, created an experience that reached beyond what I could have ever imagined.

I surrendered to an impromptu adventure.

Life has a way of lobbing surprises, as was evident on a planned day trip from Richmond to New York City, to experience Tea Around Town on a converted double-decker bus turned elegant tea room. The flight that my friends and I were scheduled to take was canceled minutes before boarding time. Now what? Pivot. After an impromptu photo shoot in the airport, we shifted our plans westward — to Charlottesville, Virginia.

Blog post author Lynn Lewis is center, wearing hat.

This detour led us to Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyard, a picturesque winery nestled in the heart of Virginia. The day unfolded with a decadent lunch, a perfect blend of nature, good company, and the delightful exploration of local treasures in downtown Charlottesville.  It was a subtle and welcoming reminder that sometimes, the unplanned detours lead to the most memorable adventures.

I enjoyed a Girls’ Weekend that Turned Out to Be a Lesson in Perfect Timing.

How often do we find ourselves waiting for the “right time” to do something we’ve always wanted to do? For me, it was hosting a few of my closest friends for Girls’ Weekend 2023. Some of them knew of each other, but they had never met in person.  I had wanted to make that happen for longer than I can remember.  The realization struck—what was I waiting for? The right time was now. No lavish resort, just my humble abode, transformed into a haven of laughter, stories and indelible shared moments.  Five of the seven invitees showed up, and what unfolded was a perfect blend of friendship, games and heartfelt conversations. Sometimes the most meaningful experiences happen in the comfort of our own spaces.

Now It’s Your Turn — Here’s Your Invitation to Intentional Living!

What have you been putting off? What dreams and adventures have you deferred for the elusive “right time?”  What is it that you’ve been yearning to do?  As I reflect on my year of firsts, I encourage you to embrace the unknown and step into the uncharted territories of your desires. Seek out new experiences, savor the joy of the unexpected, and create a tapestry of memories that can help define your journey.

The joy I found in my new experiences has led me to a decision—to make a lifestyle of enjoying firsts. Share your stories, your dreams and your moments of joy. Let’s inspire each other to embrace a life filled with firsts and make 2024 a year of intentional living, where every day brings new opportunities for joy, growth and connection. Here’s to the adventures that await and the stories yet to be written.

Lynn Lewis is a Virginia-based grief coach, survivor of suicide loss, speaker and author. Learn more about her services at DestinedToThriveGriefCoaching.com and follow her on Instagram at @griefcoachlynn.

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What I Know for Sure As 2024 Arrives

Happy New Year, my friend! As we set goals or resolutions for this shiny, new year before us (Welcome, 2024!), let us not forget the good, the great and the wow moments that have led us to this point.

Be grateful for what is to come, for sure; but also be grateful for what IS.

When we celebrate the beautiful things that already are, we can better appreciate the simple blessings that will proceed or accompany the longed-for visions that become our reality this year.

I encourage you to pull out a favorite journal and spend some time today making a list of the intangible gifts you already possess. I’ll start us off here….

What I know for sure?

– I am grateful to be healthy.

– I am grateful to be loved.

– I am worthy of self-care, mutual respect and seeing dreams come true (and so are you).

– I have a purpose greater than myself and walking in it gives me great joy.

– I am far from perfect, yet even so, I can render light and hope that blesses others, and for that I’m grateful.

I am leaning into these truths – these tiny miracles –  like never before in 2024, for these are life’s best gifts and graces. 

Consider the truths of your journey and what you know for sure. Honor these blessings. Build upon them. Continue your becoming in 2024.

I am on the journey with you. Let’s go!!

Photo credit: Samia Minnicks

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Final Friday in 2023…Why This Is Our Time

TGIF! On this final Friday in 2023, I give thanks for a year that has been full of so many moments of wonder, wow God, self-reflection, self-love, acceptance of others, joy, tears, surrender and soaring. 

In the words of the great Maya Angelou, I “wouldn’t take nothing for my journey!

I am grateful for what has been and I’m excited about what’s to come. 

Oooh the stories I am stirring to share (in writing and otherwise)! Stay tuned. 😊

What have been your moments of wonder, wow God, self-reflection, self-love, acceptance of others, joy, tears, surrender and soaring?

Join me in reflecting and giving thanks.

Celebrate what has been and welcome new horizons.

This is our time. 

May we all elevate our visions, throw our shoulders back, and greet the purpose and opportunities before us with open arms, a can-do attitude, and a smile. 

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A Love Manifesto for Christmas

I’ve discovered over time that most of the cliches about love we recite earned their status as “tried and true” phrases for a reason. They hold weight and worth that can’t be disputed, including the reality that choosing to unconditionally love yourself helps you authentically love others.

This doesn’t mean it’s easy – especially in a world that tells us we’re not smart enough, thin enough, wealthy enough, and in some cases, fair-skinned enough. Those outer voices often can - and do – drown out the truth.

It’s for this very reason that we must dig in the heels of our hearts and stare back at the face in the mirror with compassion and empathy, time and time again. We must acknowledge whatever flaws we think we see, smile at them and bless them. We must gaze into those tender eyes we own and tell ourselves that we are worthy of being seen and heard because we matter.

Try it and try again, until this rinse and repeat cycle shifts from feeling like an awkward exercise into a steady and welcomed recognition that resonates within. Because you can, and should, love yourself with abandon.

When the process gets off track, do a personal reset and keep growing. You’ll be compelled to summon the courage to love yourself, and as a result, others up close. You’ll also find yourself accepting the need to sometimes love others from afar.

The key to your mastery? Making the choice to never give up on you, and to always lead with l​ove, and with an open ​ heart.

Grieving During the Holidays

Let’s talk about grief.

I posted the message below eight years ago today, right after my sister Pat’s passing.

As I head into my late mother’s birthday tomorrow, and the 1st anniversary of my brother’s Dec. 20 passing,

and hold in my heart friends and loved ones who are grappling with loss during the holidays, I find it important to share these words again-

to remind you that grief is a necessary part of life and to love yourself through it.

Please read on, then doing something kind for yourself today.

I’m completing some writing projects this morning,

getting a massage this afternoon, and

spending time with friends this evening.

Sending a virtual hug to all who need it and encouraging you to cherish good memories.

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How to Keep Your Eyes and Your Heart Open

I do my best to find beauty all around me, and on a recent trip to New York City, my eyes landed on the setting sun across the horizon.

My Lyft driver noticed my gaze, and on a busy New York bridge, slowed his pace and urged me to lower the window. “Take a picture,” he encouraged. So I did.

It’s a beautiful memory to revisit at the end of this busy day, while remembering that the things that matter most are

worth slowing down for,

and experiencing,

and saying Thank You.

For me, the sunset is a reminder that the Creator’s crayon can paint a vivid and soothing picture anywhere, at any time.

We just have to keep our eyes and hearts open so we can recognize it, whatever its form – and sometimes be willing to invite others into the moment with us.

As we experience this holiday season, and countdown to the end of the year, let’s do just that.

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New York City sunset ~ StacyHawkinsAdams New York City Sunset, 2023 ~ Stacy Hawkins Adams (copyright)

Treasure the Treasures of this Season

In these days leading up to Thanksgiving and the official kickoff of the holiday season, I offer you three challenges:

1. Be fully present

Be fully present in all of all the simple, significant and in-between moments spent with friends and loved ones – like the few minutes of fun I savored with a sweet and smart young friend during our joint travels earlier this year.

2. Offer grace and kindness

Offer more patience and grace to those whose grief may be sharper and deeper during the holidays, when their loved one’s absence is all the more real. I’ll be spending Thanksgiving with some who are in this space, and I’m still missing my big brother, who passed away 11 months ago, five days before Christmas. It is the memories we hold and the stories we are welcomed to share about them that will carry us through.

3. Be intentional

Be intentional about leaving everyone you encounter better than you found them. Make those memories and record them. Light a candle for the cherished family and friends who are no longer physically with you.

Move with love and gratitude

And trust that love and light will always win. Give it, be ready to receive it, and keep saying Thank You along the way.

Photo by David Tomaseti on Unsplash

Because Everyone Matters

There are so many good and exciting things happening in this season for so many of us, while destruction continues to befall many around the world.

This is the yin and yang of life, and also the reason to keep watch over our hearts, our thoughts, our words and our choices.
We may feel helpless, but what we CAN control or contribute to, we must.

Our truths matter, and so do our hope and faith, and our ability to see others and seek to understand them.

Let’s not give up on goodness or each other.
Pray for peace in the Middle East, and for peace in many of the cities, towns and homes across our nation.

Instead of bending toward the culture and a “by any means necessary” existence, what if we tried living with a “because everyone matters” perspective?

Your one shift, and someone else’s one shift, and my one shift could perhaps, together, shake the world.