The Wisdom of Grief

Three years ago around this time, someone I cared for deeply entered hospice and a weeklong end-of-life process that was dignity-rendering, yet leaking with sadness.

I stood the course with my beloved older brother on his journey toward death, knowing that he would want no pity, and if possible, he would have been spitting wisecracks at every turn, while declaring that life is to be enjoyed and celebrated.

With that in mind, as we race toward Christmas, or celebrate Hanukkah or countdown to the New Year, I share this wisdom borne from losing someone dear (in particular during the holidays) to remind us that one of the best ways to honor our loved ones is to keep on living, and to do so with intentional joy and hopefulness.

Here are a few ways that I’ve personally leaned into:

Love on yourself more, just because. 

Tell others what they mean to you while you can (I have and I regularly do).

Cry when you feel like it.

Laugh every chance you get.

Forget about yesterday’s grudges. 

Love those who love you back.

Be kind to those whose rudeness often means they need more kindness.

Challenge yourself to leave everyone better than you found them – with what you say and what you don’t; by how you share and where you set boundaries; and by giving with no expectation of reciprocity.

Let your heart break. The only way through grief is through

Say Thank You – for everything.

Because every breath you take, every day you get to experience, and every person who crosses your path is in some way a gift.

 
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Release and Receive

In these first few days of November, consider releasing what no longer serves you.

Those unhelpful habits or outdated clothes? Let them go.

That doubt, fear or hesitation? Bid it goodbye. 

Those dreamcrushers in your circle or wishy-washy connections? Bless and release them.

And then?

Since the clutter has been released, may you appreciate the beauty and boldness of purpose within you, and embrace all the good your mind, your heart and your arms now have the space to hold. 

Hold Your Life’s Pen

Decide this week to live and love with abandon, celebrate the good around you, and embrace challenges as opportunities to strengthen your ability to walk in the truth and beauty of who you are.

Everyone can’t or won’t understand your journey or your heart, and only you can script an accurate version of your story.

Hold the pen to your life and do just that, with compassion, grace and joy.


“A (person’s) judgment of another depends more on the one judging and on that person’s passions, than on the one being judged and on his/ her conduct.” (Paul Tournier)

Exude light and love no matter what, and the overflow can’t help but bless others.

Reasons to Say Thank You

Take some time throughout this day to pay attention to the simple things….

The sound of a bird chirping or a baby laughing;

that funny meme that landed in your text thread 

or the brief check-in call from a friend;

The hug from your teenager or toddler, 

or email from your mentor;

the wind gently swaying in the trees,

and the taste of your favorite ice cream.

The thoughtful compliment,

the genuine smile, 

the words of encouragement arriving at just the time you need them. 

Nothing is as random as we may think; 

yet even when it feels that way, 

we get to say thank you.

Honor Yourself to Better Serve Others

You are the captain of your ship, and therefore of your wellbeing, your purpose and your journey.

Love without condition while still exercising wisdom.

Give generously while setting appropriate boundaries.

Dream big and don’t settle. It may take time, but the time will be just right.

Say no when doing so gives you the space to practice self-care.

Lean into “not now” when this will keep you safer rather than sorry.

However, always say yes to honoring your intuition, character and integrity – even when this means standing alone.

Be willing to sacrifice short-term gains in order to experience lasting blessings.

Know that you are worthy and embrace this truth with confidence and contentment.

Stay on Your Path

Five years ago today, I posted the photo and the sentiments below about the start of September and the looming end of this year. All these years later, this digital journal entry of sorts still resonates and feels worth sharing.

As you launch into September 2024, may my reflections on walking my life’s path encourage you to more fully appreciate your own:

I entered the first day of September (2019) with a morning trek along a path that was brand new to me. It was beautiful, breezy and serene. 

I talked to God, and then I stilled myself to listen, even as my feet kept moving. 

Then I saw it – a juncture in the road where the paved path yielded to gravel – leading to uncultured, unknown territory, and to a bend around which I could not see.

I advanced a few feet, then retreated, deciding to explore more fully on another day.

For in that moment, I had all I needed – fresh air, a lush green setting and a visual reminder that at every turn, I am loved, worthy and deserving of joy. That was the response that filled my listening heart.

That walk reminded me that even when we’re on the right path, we’ll encounter some pebbles, stones, rough patches and dirt. We won’t always know the end before we begin or even when we’re mid-journey. Yet, that’s why it’s so important to enjoy each step of the journey itself and to find value in each phase. 

In the right season, at the appointed time, we will discover the beauty around those bends, and perhaps appreciate the extra effort (courage?) required to get there. 

Wherever we are on our path today, we can lean into the truths of how God has already blessed us. Think back over your life for a few minutes and count the ways. 

Then, set your intentions, determine what you’ll do next (or how you’ll surrender), and say “thank you” in advance for the good that lies ahead – on paved roads, gravelly paths, wood trails and all.

Wisdom from Meghan

Regardless of whether you thought Sunday’s bombshell Oprah+Meghan TV interview was worth your time, one of the revelations Meghan Markle shared during the two-hour conversation offered some wisdom:

Have compassion for people. You have no idea what’s going on behind their bright smiles, polished perceptions and fabulous photo ops.

As we pass the one-year milestone of pandemic living, we do indeed know that everyone is going through something, and wherever you find yourself on the pendulum, be intentional about judging less and caring more.

You could be someone’s differencemaker.

Why Taking Risks Is Healthy

Someone recently called me a risk-taker, and at first, I didn’t fully agree. (Most folks are surprised to learn that I can be shy or consider myself an extroverted introvert.)

Then I paused and did a mental rundown of every time I’ve ignored my fears and followed my heart – whether personally, professionally or in daily life – and I had to accept that yes, I’ve been a risk-taker, in ways that have stretched me and yielded phenomenal growth, meaning and joy.

When I look back and consider the pitfalls and valleys along the way, they seem necessary side effects of pursuing and cresting some amazing mountaintops. And as “auntie” Dr. Maya Angelou once so eloquently stated, “I wouldn’t take nothing for my journey.”

So yes, I’m a risk taker in my own unique way, and because of that, I’ve tapped into numerous blessings beyond my comfort zone. God willing, there are more to come.
What about you?

Do you see your dreams and desires on the horizon, just out of reach but fully attainable if you lean in to life or to thinking differently, and leave the safe shore?

Stretch yourself. Create a plan when possible, or simply follow that nudging when it won’t let up. Go for it and don’t look back.

– Stacy Hawkins Adams

 

Dont-worry-about-failures-worry-about-the-chances-you-miss-when-you-dont-even-try-Jack-Canfield 

For Little Girls and Boys Everywhere…

Happy Monday. I missed Oprah Winfrey’s speech when she delivered it live last night on the Golden Globe Awards, but it is just as moving on video.
Take a few minutes to click here and watch her inspire little girls with big dreams who are somewhere in the world watching her shine, and be assured…
there are little girls and little boys watching you and me, too. Let’s not let them down.

How to Find Joy in Your Journey

Count it all joy:
The blessings that bring you happiness
The lessons that lead to wisdom
The heartbreak that teaches you empathy
The hope that helps you grow.
Each step
Each stride
Each experience
Each opportunity
Comprise your daily gift – the life that only you get to live.

© Stacy Hawkins Adams