You’re not behind. You’re not late. You’re exactly where you need to be. A reflection on the power of “yet” and trusting your unfolding journey.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the word “yet.”
As in: “I’m not there yet.”
We use it apologetically, don’t we? As if being in the middle of our journey is something to excuse. As if the space between where we are and where we want to be is a gap that diminishes our worth.
But what if “yet” is actually the most hopeful word we have?
When you say, “I’m not there yet,” what you’re really saying is: I’m still becoming.
You’re acknowledging that your story isn’t finished. That there’s more ahead. That the best chapters might still be unwritten.
“Yet” means you haven’t given up. “Yet” means you’re still in motion. “Yet” means possibility is still alive.
Your story isn’t finished.
Your best work might still be ahead of you.
The person you’re becoming is still taking shape.
And that “yet”? That’s not a deficit. That’s a promise.
You’re not there yet.
And that means you’re still becoming.
Keep going.
💛 Stacy
I’m Curious: What’s something you’re not “there yet” on—but you’re trusting will unfold in its own time? I’d love to hear. Leave a comment below, then follow me on Facebook or Instagram for more frequent connection and inspiration. Let’s remind each other: We’re all still becoming.
Those are the words of my millennial daughter, Shelby, who frequently tells people that her Baby Boomer generation mother is in her third career.
Perhaps we Boomers took a lesson from actress Betty White, who once said: ““Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way.” White lived up to her own prediction by performing well into her 90s.
Like many in my generation, after officially “retiring” in 2013 as an editor in seven daily newspaper newsrooms, I kept working. I became a professor, an author, an essayist and opinion writer, podcaster and a community volunteer.
Working long and hard was ingrained in the professional corps of my generation. And now, Based on a recent survey, it seems like the work-until-forever trend may be the case with the Gen Z generation, those who are behind the Baby Boomers – albeit for a different reason.
In April 2024, AARP reported that 20% of adults ages 50+ have no retirement savings, and more than half (61%) are worried they will not have enough money to support themselves in retirement.
The parents of my Boomer generation worked for what now seem like unreasonably small wages, yet they were able to sustain households. The elders in my family, those whose health allowed them to live long enough to enjoy the fruits of their labor, used their relatively comfortable pensions and meager Social Security checks to enjoy hobbies, church activities and time with family. My elders didn’t seem to covet working after retirement.
Not me. Now in my mid-70s, I believe working keeps my mind sharp and my body agile. After I left my first career, I didn’t look forward to hobbies, and after decades of work-related travel I had little thirst for long vacations. My years as a newsroom leader were full of exciting challenges — hiring great staff, developing talent, the demands of breaking news and daily deadlines.
No day was like the day before. That’s the pace I kept, yet I knew it would be difficult to totally pump the brakes just because I was no longer working in newsrooms. I knew it was time to redefine myself professionally.
These days I encounter quite a few other retirees who have transitioned from one hard-working career to the next, some of them still earning money and some simply enjoying the satisfaction of volunteering.
After departing my last newsroom, the Montgomery Advertiser in Alabama, I stepped into the role as a university department chair and professor, landing back in the coastal Georgia hometown that I departed 45 years before. Then a few years later I decided to step away from academia, and I began my non-fiction writing career, which included two books published in 2020, followed by a COVID-inspired virtual book tour. These days I am a lecturer and moderator on topics of great interest to me. And I continue to mentor the next generation of journalists and aspiring authors.
For those who may be approaching retirement and wondering how to adapt to the next chapter of life, here are some insights from my experience.
Give yourself time to figure out the next step. When you officially “retire” you may first be overwhelmed with calls for opportunities to volunteer, lead projects, join boards or get involved with someone else’s projects. Take some time to rest, clean out your closets or plant a garden – whatever gives you pleasure as you ponder your next chapter.
Dress for a different kind of success. Speaking of cleaning closets, one of the things I discovered is that I had way too many professional clothes and not enough casual stuff. Grocery shopping in the middle of the day dressed in business casual attire was not cool. My advice: set aside a small budget for more casual stuff; find a consignment store or donate much of your professional wardrobe. Hard-working, cash-strapped GenX or millennial workers may appreciate the value of your recycled items.
Go for long walks (especially if you have a dog). I discovered that walks with my Bella are therapeutic and a great opportunity to meet neighbors, enjoy the changing seasons and think about life’s next steps. And, I found that some of my best writing ideas come to me while walking.
Find a new community. If you are antsy to get out of the house and enjoy social events, check out neighborhood websites or social media to see what’s going on around you. In my community, I joined The Learning Center, where members enjoy lectures and programs that enhance our knowledge of our community, the humanities and culture in the company of other active senior citizens. Many new friendships have been developed at the center.
Maintain career connections. Stay in touch with former career colleagues, especially those who are also retired or retiring soon. And make yourself available to mentor young people who aspire to grow in your career field. Young people need the wisdom of our experiences.
One lesson I learned about retirement was from TV personality Fred Rogers, who recorded “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood” until he was 72 years old. He said this about working life: “Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.”
Embrace that as you look for your own next beginning.
Photo credit: Jamie Weaver
Wanda Lloyd, an editor who worked at The Washington Post, USA Today and five other daily newspapers, is the author of COMING FULL CIRCLE: From Jim Crow to Journalism, and she is co-editor of MEETING AT THE TABLE: African-American Women Write on Race, Culture and Community.
Trees offer a reminder of the importance of finding balance in life – standing tall, resilient and beautiful on your own, yet being planted close enough to a neighbor, friend or loved one to send encouragement, share special moments and extend some love.
This week, may you succeed with both. Enjoy your time alone and make room to dance with others.
For it is in spending time with you that you discover how you’re meant to uniquely impact the world. And it is in doing life together, with likeminded souls on a positive trajectory, that we rise. Embrace life’s duality and enjoy this season of your journey.
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In about three weeks, a group of amazing women (and one gentleman) will join me in gracing the stage at Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden to pour from our hearts and inspire everyone present to embrace their journeys and value others’ stories, too.
My co-organizers and I met for two hours this morn to discuss the final details (and to settle my nerves!), and I left that Zoom session all the more excited about what we’re birthing.
So although my October 22 inspirational brunch is sold out, as often as I can throughout this month, I’ll share some timeless inspiration from my 2014 brunch that can still offer encouragement and hope.
Today’s offering is the keynote message I shared in 2014 with brunch attendees, and I share it again, because it’s all still true:
Words hold power.
Fiction and nonfiction can tranform lives.
I am honored to be a vessel.
I continue to write forward – not necessarily at my pace, but at the one that is ordained for me.
Some of my dearest friends and I have agreed to disagree about the angry choices a certain actor made on Hollywood’s biggest night.
What’s also true is that I don’t condone violence; I wish he would have handled it backstage, and I was waiting on him to offer a more direct apology in the aftermath.
But as I often say, we rarely know another person’s full story – including the challenges they may be walking through.
As Will Smith accepted his Oscar I saw what appeared to be shame in celebrating his biggest career achievement amid his biggest career misstep – knowing that his mother (who he seemed upset with for not coming) and his children had witnessed his implosion.
Who knows? Maybe he had to beg Jada to show up and deal with her alopecia-related hair loss on a night when other women’s tresses were flowing.
And who knows what else Will may be dealing with in his family, with his health or within himself?
He still shouldn’t have strode onstage and slapped a colleague.
He did what hurt people often do – hurt other people. And in this case, he hurt himself most of all by taking away from the legacy of “strength in the face of fire” that Venus and Serena entrusted to him.
All that said, and even as I shook my head at it all, I could think of times I wished I had handled situations differently. Can’t we all?
Not condoning his behavior, but also not serving as judge nor jury. (The memes and Twitter comments are pure entertainment and offer enough sentences without mine.)
Will Smith will face his consequences, and as he deals with them privately and publicly, I hope the rest of us can use this as a reminder that at every age and stage, there’s room for growth and room for empathy.
And who walked away with his head held highest for showing restraint? Chris Rock, who I’m sure will be telling jokes about that experience for years to come. Get ready, Will.
So many people are stunned by the tragic death of former Miss USA Cheslie Kryst. And that of actress Regina King’s son. And perhaps the suicide of someone you know.
We must not let this become the next pandemic.
Check on people in your circle – and check the “petty” at the door.
Remind yourself that being kind is often more important than being right, because there’s often a story behind someone’s anger, silence, odd behavior, etc.
You don’t have to be the judge and jury.
Your call – our call – is to grant more grace and to love unconditionally.
Even if it’s from a different source, it will indeed boomerang in our favor.
Prayers and peace to all who are grieving, and heartfelt hugs to anyone who is suffering. Please keep reaching out until someone hears you. Your life matters.
I’m sharing this “public service announcement” to persevere for whoever needs it (and just know, that sometimes it’s me).
If it’s not you today, pass it on!
Keep breathing – your deep-in-the-valley season is just a pitstop.
Keep dancing – the swirling storm will find it harder to touch you.
Keep believing – beauty can indeed be birthed from ashes.
Keep trusting yourself – you’re a prize worth cherishing, at home, at work and everywhere in between.
Keep paying attention – to your heart, to your gut, to what people show you rather than what they say, and to what you know to be true. Trusting yourself will never lead you wrong.
Keep laughing – it’s medicine for your soul, and everything doesn’t have to be so serious.
Most importantly? Just keep on keeping on.
I promise you, your best days are ahead, no matter your age, stage or circumstances.
Your job is to persist in excellence, love with an open heart, set appropriate boundaries, welcome peace and treasure your joys.
I’m living proof (and there are so many tangible examples around) that it’s all doable. Join me on this Life Untapped journey in your own way and in your own time. Just promise me, and yourself, that you’ll keep going.
Welcome to June. We’re halfway through another historic year!
In light of young tennis star Naomi Osaka’s dramatic (and courageous) decision a few days ago to put her dreams on hold and practice self-care, I share the sentiments in this post as a reminder to all of us that what matters most is not material gain nor worldly success.
It is what flows into and from the heart that can make you or break you.
Let us live and lead with more empathy, truth and love, because everyone, at every level, needs it.
You never know what someone else is going through behind that smile, that frown, that fear, that anger, those actions or that attitude. So give everyone grace, because they don’t know your full story either.
Stop striving for perfection and persist with excellence.
Why? Because we all stumble at some point, in some way. True victory doesn’t come from not ever having fallen, but in having the courage to dust yourself off and get up.
Rinse and repeat, however many times it takes, until you’re standing firm and striding toward your goals.
Still Unfolding with Stacy Hawkins Adams 