Tag: empowered

A Lesson in Joy and Possibility

I attended a cookout over the weekend with great people, good food and lots of line dancing.

We enjoyed ourselves, with fans in hands, boots on the ground, and joyful laughter as we moved to the music. 

And then, before the evening ended, a beautiful little girl I did not know, perhaps 6 or 7 years old, joined the adults who had carved out space for themselves in front of the DJ.

She danced like no one was watching (although dozens of us were). 

She twisted and swayed, put a hand on her hip and even fit in a few squats and dips, all under the watchful eyes of her parents, while surrounded by a group fellow dancers – “aunties” who cheered her on with smiles and claps, over several songs. 

Even the DJ felt inspired by her freedom of spirit and movement.

“Dance doll baby!” he finally declared, then deadpanned to all of us watching: “She’s gonna fall asleep the minute she gets in the car for the ride home!”

We chuckled at the likelihood of that truth, but what struck me even more was the truth of possibilities her impromptu performance inspired. 

To witness this little brown princess own her right to be herself, enjoy herself and embrace the support that surrounded her was a beautiful gift on the day known as Independence Day.

Who knows what she’ll grow up to do or who she’ll become, but if she holds onto the confidence and love that is clearly already instilled within her, and if a community of support continues to surround her (loved ones and strangers alike), her heart’s dreams can transition into her lived purpose.

She was a dancing, smiling, twinkle-eyed representation of who we all can be – regardless of age or stage – with just the right elements feeding our souls and with our willingness to give the best of ourselves to others.

Perhaps we can be more intentional these days about filling our inner wells in this way – and becoming that gift to others?? 

Her Story: I Was Built for Hurricanes

By Guest Blogger Margo Clifford

I woke up one morning and realized I was living in a nightmare. My partner had told me the night before, that if he couldn’t have me then no one would. He brought out his rifle and leaned it against the headboard of our bed. He meant every word. I was in an abusive relationship and needed a way out. I was scared and ashamed. How did I let this happen?

Abusive relationships don’t start out that way. At the beginning he was charming and thoughtful. Wanted to meet my friends. Loved that I had a college degree. He wanted the same things I wanted. Family was important. I was sure I had found a keeper. However, 3 months in and the tiny cracks began to show in the perfect boyfriend. His temper began to eek out. An unprovoked outburst, accusations of betrayal, and jealousy over friends became my new normal. It was no longer a loving relationship. No matter what I did, it was never good enough. There was always the feeling of dread not knowing how he would come home from work. The abuse was usually done in a rage followed by his denial that he had done anything wrong because according to him I deserved it.

At that point I became driven to understand him, to figure out how to fix the relationship and examine my part in all of this. I began reading books about people with anger issues and domestic violence. I wanted to know why it happened to me. My search for answers led me to volunteer at a shelter for battered women, take a crisis counseling class and help abused women. I realized my relationship was not going to change and I needed to leave. My good friend witnessed one of his tirades and contacted my folks. I had been too embarrassed to admit to them what had been happening. My concern about what others would think about me had gotten in the way of receiving the support I needed. Without any questions my family was there for me. I realized that I couldn’t do this alone and was able to escape.

My mom asked me recently if I regretted that time in my life. I had to admit that the relationship had a silver lining. That experience made me a stronger woman. It was the push I needed to move away and go to graduate school. I realized I had been playing small, and that there was so much more that I could do with my life. And I have.

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1526251_10206057717790061_4707442569239819648_nMargo Clifford is a crusader for children’s rights and empowering young minds to think, create and believe in themselves. As an educator for over 40 years, she has witnessed the amazing resilience that children have to overcome the obstacles that stand in their way. She is currently working on a book about two brothers dealing with homelessness. When she’s not working with children, she is writing, doing art, beekeeping and spending time with friends, family and her dog, LuLu.