Her Story: Choosing a Life Worth Living

By Guest Blogger Alyson Lindsey Taylor-White

They looked at me like their cat had just talked to them. The kidney surgeon and his nurse had just delivered what they thought would be devastating news – that my case did not merit a life saving transplant – and I had responded with words of hope.

What they did not know is that I had prepared for that outcome and was already strategizing how my future would proceed without a new kidney. This looked less like a barrier to me and more like an opportunity. In many ways, I was relieved. The transplant process has its own challenges that are seldom mentioned in the literature. My healing would proceed without this ordeal.

However my perspective was clearly not the reaction they anticipated.

Having suffered for years with failing, and finally failed kidneys, prepared me for the potential outcome that a transplant might be my only hope for survival. During those challenging years, additional health complications became a factor. In the fall of 2015, my heart and kidneys gave up at the same time, and my survival was extremely iffy for about a month, when I struggled for life in a local hospital intensive care unit.

While coming out of the haze of medications and dealing with other affects of organ failure, the medical staff told me to prepare for the worst. They said my life, if I made it, would never be the same again. They assured me my old life was dead, and that I might have diminished abilities for the remainder of my life.

As difficult as it was to hear, maybe them telling me how awful my life could be actually made me more determined to recover and create a life worth living. Six major surgeries and a year of daily dialysis later, it is.

I had stuff to do, and I was not going to let these new disabilities derail me for long. For two years, I’d been working on my first book and it was at a crucial stage in the publication process. My pets and my husband needed me.

In fairness to all of those medical experts, I had a secret weapon: My ability to believe in myself. This has always proven successful. My life has had serious setbacks, but since early childhood I have been able to count on the soothing comfort of imagining the positive potential outcome of every situation. What saved my life, and has sustained me to this day, is being able to see the positive side of things.

It is not always easy to have faith when faced with doom; but my determination to heal has enabled me to persevere and succeed. Whether I have six years, six months or six minutes of life left, it is my job to live every day to its fullest and jettison whatever is not inspiring joy. You can do the same.

Alyson LinA.Taylor-Whitedsey Taylor-White is a University of Richmond certified adjunct instructor with a background in journalism and museum education. She has researched and written about Richmond and Virginia history and politics for more than 20 years, and is passionate about sharing these stories with others. She creates and gives public and private tours of Virginia historic sites. Her first book, Shockoe Hill Cemetery  – a Richmond Landmark History, will be published this year.

 

5+ Ways to See Your Dreams Realized

Welcome to Wednesday. Whatever positive things you long to experience or achieve today…
* See them as real in your mind’s eye: Visualize your new reality – in full color, with specific details.
* Speak those desires into existence: Words and prayers hold power.
* Move deliberately: Resist all doubt.
* Trust the process: Success cannot be birthed without struggle.
* Give thanks in advance: Put your faith into action.
And then…be ready for the blessings that materialize.

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Create with Love

By Stacy Hawkins Adams

I spent some time this week in the company of writer friends who reminded me that the beauty of our words and our written works – whether literary, commercial, for adults or for kids – is always needed.

It was a well-timed reminder that what one tenderly and carefully creates does indeed matter. What you produce can change a heart, fill a soul, light the imagination, give hope to dreams or render some measure of joy.

All of this has value. So create with love, and trust that your devotion to your craft will be enough. ccbooklove

Her Story: Finding Beauty in the Storm

By Guest Blogger Venus Bolton

There are times our children get sick and as parents we tend to them attentively, doing everything we can think of to make them feel better. Sometimes Mama’s home health care does the trick; but if you have multiple kids like me, your children may be on the germ-share program; so invariably what goes around tends to make the rounds.

However, imagine being told the illness your child has is life threatening – that time is running out and your options are few. When my husband and I received this news in 2011, it didn’t feel real. Doctors declared that our 4-year old daughter had severe aplastic anemia. Aplastic anemia behaves in the same way as several childhood cancers, with a similar course of treatment.

I now think back to the three years of active treatment that followed this diagnosis, along with two years of maintenance treatment, and I am truly amazed at how we navigated life during those five years. An illness of this magnitude can impose a crippling toll on a family.

The most significant lesson I learned is that beautiful things can happen in the midst of the worst storms life throws your way. My husband and I experienced what the hearts of people coming together to be the blessing looks like. We felt like every good thing we had ever done in our lives was returned to us through the love, prayers and generosity of others.

Through this unimaginable set of circumstances, we’ve had many opportunities to share our story as ambassadors for patient families, in conversations with lawmakers and officials, and by working with businesses and organizations that support patient families. We’ve walked alongside other parents (who became friends) through diagnosis, treatment, heartache and grief.

Our 9-year old daughter was recently released to full survivorship, and while it may sound cliché, my family has a renewed appreciation for life. We take very little for granted and have learned not to sweat the small stuff, because in the grand scheme, it all is smaller.

I never thought I’d say it, but what came to wreak havoc in our lives has ultimately ended up blessing our family in some ways we didn’t expect. Most importantly it gave me, and my husband, a greater desire to have a positive impact in our community, and to put ourselves in position to bless the lives of others whenever possible.

Venus Bolton writes and speaks on issues related to faith, wellness, caregiving and child advocacy. She lives in Midlothian, Virginia with her husband and four children and blogs regularly at Three & 1.

 

 

A Norm for You? A New for Me.

By Stacy Hawkins Adams

There’s one less thing for me to include on my “never tried” list: beignets.

I met a friend for brunch today at a quaint cafe’ in the heart of our city and when I reached our table, the waitress greeted us with these warm miniature delicacies. fullsizerender28Basically just New Orleans’-style “baby doughnuts” with powered sugar, they were warmed to perfection and each bite was a treat.

Something simple to add an extra smile to my sunny Sunday. I’d never tried this cafe’ before, either, and I likely wouldn’t have noticed it had I not received my friend’s invitation.

It was a reminder that sometimes we can’t see things right in front of us; but when we do, they can be divinely sweet.

What’s your fun find for the day?

 

Be the Superlative

~ By Stacy Hawkins Adams
TGIF! Today is the kickoff for Super Bowl Weekend (guess I’ll root for those Falcons since my Boys won’t be playing), and it’s also a great day to be a superlative in someone else’s life.
Share a smile. Give a hug. Forgive an old grudge. Make a new friend. Laugh. Be kind. Eat some chocolate.
Accept someone different instead of judging, remembering that we never know another person’s full story. creative-commons-cco-pixababy-thunderstorm
Treat encounters with hate as opportunities to inject some light and love into a dark space.
Read something meaningful or simply fun – just read!
Celebrate life and decide to enjoy every drop of this day.
 

Why a Life Untapped Matters

Living life to the fullest doesn’t mean living a carefree, pain-free life. It means finding meaning and joy in the things that matter most, no matter the circumstances.

(Inaugural post from Life Untapped curator Stacy Hawkins Adams.)

Your life matters because you matter.

Your hopes. Your dreams. Your flaws and failures that make you who you are and give you your unique (and valuable) perspective. The purpose only you can execute during your time on earth.

Life Untapped, the blog, is meant to be a source of hope, how-to and motivation as you seek your lane of service, love, joy and impact.

We all have one – whether it’s to be the best stay-at-home mom, office administrator or community leader possible or to change the world in some dramatic way.  But the first shift toward our destiny begins with believing that the “story” we’re each living is our unique gift to the world – our personal opportunity for relevance.

Whether you aim to be a writer or simply want to read and write more intentionally to learn and grow, Life Untapped is here to help. We’ll provide inspiration and information you can use to move toward the reality you long to live.

Use the messages here – from me and my guests – as a guidebook and example of how to shape your life into your own particular masterpiece. Not perfect; just personal. And become intentional about enjoying the process as much as securing the prize, whatever it may be. That’s important, so that your memories will make you smile long after a task is complete, a goal is accomplished or a seed is planted and the flower of your life has bloomed.

Thanks for joining me here. I’m honored to be on the journey with you. Stacy Signature