Tag: black writers

The Wisdom of Grief

Three years ago around this time, someone I cared for deeply entered hospice and a weeklong end-of-life process that was dignity-rendering, yet leaking with sadness.

I stood the course with my beloved older brother on his journey toward death, knowing that he would want no pity, and if possible, he would have been spitting wisecracks at every turn, while declaring that life is to be enjoyed and celebrated.

With that in mind, as we race toward Christmas, or celebrate Hanukkah or countdown to the New Year, I share this wisdom borne from losing someone dear (in particular during the holidays) to remind us that one of the best ways to honor our loved ones is to keep on living, and to do so with intentional joy and hopefulness.

Here are a few ways that I’ve personally leaned into:

Love on yourself more, just because. 

Tell others what they mean to you while you can (I have and I regularly do).

Cry when you feel like it.

Laugh every chance you get.

Forget about yesterday’s grudges. 

Love those who love you back.

Be kind to those whose rudeness often means they need more kindness.

Challenge yourself to leave everyone better than you found them – with what you say and what you don’t; by how you share and where you set boundaries; and by giving with no expectation of reciprocity.

Let your heart break. The only way through grief is through. 

Say Thank You – for everything.

Because every breath you take, every day you get to experience, and every person who crosses your path is in some way a gift.

 
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Hold Your Life’s Pen

Decide this week to live and love with abandon, celebrate the good around you, and embrace challenges as opportunities to strengthen your ability to walk in the truth and beauty of who you are.

Everyone can’t or won’t understand your journey or your heart, and only you can script an accurate version of your story.

Hold the pen to your life and do just that, with compassion, grace and joy.


“A (person’s) judgment of another depends more on the one judging and on that person’s passions, than on the one being judged and on his/ her conduct.” (Paul Tournier)

Exude light and love no matter what, and the overflow can’t help but bless others.

Keep Reading, Keep Growing

There is power in stories. 

They help you better understand yourself and others, and they help you make sense of the world in which we live. 

Before this week ends, why not commit to reading some short fiction or a novel over the course of this month? Or pick up a memoir; perhaps a biography.

Read to laugh, weep, learn or grow. 

Read to gain context, read to know.

Whether you choose some of my work or that of some of my fellow authors, enjoy, immerse yourself and reap the benefits of immersing yourself in stories, long after you’ve reached The End.

Your Personal Masterpiece

It’s your choice whether to risk the lack of comfort that comes with living fully or to play it safe and end up with a list of “What ifs?”

Be willing to do the work to create your personal masterpiece. 

This will be the memories you someday cherish most, and perhaps, your legacy. It just may offer a roadmap, and a nudge, for generations that follow you.

Pace Yourself

Becoming is a lifelong journey. Don’t stop inventing, re-inventing and getting to know yourself.

Pace yourself, 

listen to yourself, 

trust yourself and 

find some joy in every chapter of your journey. 

A Lesson in Joy and Possibility

I attended a cookout over the weekend with great people, good food and lots of line dancing.

We enjoyed ourselves, with fans in hands, boots on the ground, and joyful laughter as we moved to the music. 

And then, before the evening ended, a beautiful little girl I did not know, perhaps 6 or 7 years old, joined the adults who had carved out space for themselves in front of the DJ.

She danced like no one was watching (although dozens of us were). 

She twisted and swayed, put a hand on her hip and even fit in a few squats and dips, all under the watchful eyes of her parents, while surrounded by a group fellow dancers – “aunties” who cheered her on with smiles and claps, over several songs. 

Even the DJ felt inspired by her freedom of spirit and movement.

“Dance doll baby!” he finally declared, then deadpanned to all of us watching: “She’s gonna fall asleep the minute she gets in the car for the ride home!”

We chuckled at the likelihood of that truth, but what struck me even more was the truth of possibilities her impromptu performance inspired. 

To witness this little brown princess own her right to be herself, enjoy herself and embrace the support that surrounded her was a beautiful gift on the day known as Independence Day.

Who knows what she’ll grow up to do or who she’ll become, but if she holds onto the confidence and love that is clearly already instilled within her, and if a community of support continues to surround her (loved ones and strangers alike), her heart’s dreams can transition into her lived purpose.

She was a dancing, smiling, twinkle-eyed representation of who we all can be – regardless of age or stage – with just the right elements feeding our souls and with our willingness to give the best of ourselves to others.

Perhaps we can be more intentional these days about filling our inner wells in this way – and becoming that gift to others?? 

You Be the GOAT

This week, pay attention to how you enter, serve while there, and exit a space or place.

Regardless of the energy you encounter from others, keep your joy and your essence of grace in tact. 

Instead of letting someone’s not-so-great attitude shift yours, you stir the atmosphere. 

May your presence…. 

offer light, 

heal hearts,

model integrity,

embody love,

foster peace,

inspire hope,

ignite laughter,

exemplify courage,

gift some grace. 

You be the GOAT (greatest of all time) in the lives of those you touch in ways that simply require you to be authentically you.

Surrender to Your Leap

Sometimes our dreams are so big that we tiptoe to the edge of them, then shrink away. 

But what if we had the courage to actually follow where they lead? 

To consider how leaning into them and falling forward allows the wind to buoy us and keep us afloat?

To trust the lessons we’ll learn, the people we’ll form bonds with and the experiences that will shape us as our divine birthright?

What if we loved ourselves- and those in our care – enough to surrender to this way of being and to taking the leap?

Wow…just wow. Wouldn’t our lives be a wonder?

Photo credit: Emily Abrams

Be Good to You

In the week ahead, make room for some of life’s simplest treasures – 

the kind that offer you lasting value (like time spent with friends & loved ones or devoted to your passion or to serving others)

– the kind that bake hope into your soul (like a long hug or beautiful art or stirring music)

–  and the kind of things that, in your seasoned years, become the memories that make your heart smile with gratitude and gladness.

You’re worth what it takes to make room for all of this. Be good to you.

You are a Worthy Ripple

This week, be intentional about not only treating others with value, but also with valuing who you are. 

Respect what you bring to the table, while respecting others and their gifts, too. 

Hold onto the truth that no matter what, you are a ripple who helps create waves. 

Make sure your impact is the best kind – waves of difference-making, positivity, resilience, integrity and hope.