Month: March 2017

Lifestyle Notes: Why A Little Red Does a Woman Good

By Guest Blogger Tawyana Athey

The most universal lip color I know is red. The color red is worn all over the world and is one color that can be worn all year round. The spectrum of the red lip can range from the truest red to a warmer red with hit of orange or a cooler red with hints of purple.

Women sometimes shy away from this color for various reasons, such as old-school connotations of “You look like a floozy,” “a loose woman” or a “street walker”—which are all false. A nice red lip can emanate confidence, sexiness, power and boldness.

Other women have the idea that “I am too fair to wear red” or “I am too dark to wear red,” when it’s not the color red itself that should be the main focus, but the SHADE of red that will look good with your skin tone.

One of my favorite go-to looks is to pair an ombre red lip with lashes (I wear it at least 2-3 times a week). So ladies, the next time you are feeling a little adventurous, step out in your red lip and own your fierceness!

“Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin.” ~ Tawyana Athey

Tawyana, wearing an ombre (red) lipstick.

Tawyana Athey is a Virginia-based makeup artist specializing in beauty, editorial, runway, film and bridal makeup. She has a natural affinity for putting the “!” on her clients’ natural beauty, in a manner that sets the tone for the client’s specific occasion and fits with the client’s personality or needs. Her major projects have included serving as lead makeup artist for the independent film “Reap What You Sow” and serving as the onsite makeup artist for Full Figure Fashion Week in New York during its June 2013 showcase of Ashley Stuart, Old Navy and Lane Bryant fashions. Tawyana enjoys spending time with her young daughter and using her gift of makeup artistry to serve her community. She has provided makeovers for breast cancer patients and for women inmates who are scheduled for release from the Virginia Department of Corrections. She loves opportunities to bring out “The Glam” in those she serves and considers herself your beauty belle of the South. Connect with Tawyana at blushoutloud.com or on Facebook at Blush_Out_Loud, Instagram @blushoutloud or Twitter @blushoutloud.

 

 

 

Chat With the Author: Writing for Young People Stirs Her

Meet award-winning author Gigi Amateau.

Gigi has penned seven books for children and young adults and has a heart for telling stories that help youths feel connected and valued. Her most recent novel, Two for Joy, is a three-generational story about family caregiving and about how a child and an elder accept each other wholly.  Enjoy her Q&A with LifeUntapped, in which she details her author journey and shares about her books and characters.

What is your primary goal as an author?  I hope that my readers will connect with something in their own lives that makes them curious, inspired, or willing to keep going. The themes that I return to tend to be: access, belonging, overcoming trauma, resilience, intergenerational connections, and a sense of place.

What has been the most surprising feedback you’ve received from readers about your novels?  I recently received a letter from a young man in southside Virginia who had read Come August, Come Freedom. He wrote, “I always hated anything evolving (sic) slavery, but this book expanded my views… Gabriel is kind of like me; he loves his family, he’s strong willed, and he’s physically strong.” He went on to share how he related to the book. I keep his letter on my desk; it means so much that he took the time to write it.

What has been the most surprising aspect of your author journey? Every book takes on a different shape and a different process. When I think I have figured out how to write a book? Wrong!

How do you continue growing as a writer?  By following my curiosity – I think curiosity is one of the most important traits of being human. There are so many ways that writing fulfills me. If I limit myself to thinking that I am only a writer if I am publishing or writing books, then I set myself up for disappointment and frustration, because

I believe that my specific calling is to use words and language in the best form for the idea I want to release into the world.

Sometimes, that’s a book. Other times a grant, a letter, a post, an academic paper, or an essay may be the best form. It’s all good.

Who are two or three writers you admire or consider mentors?  I admire Judy Blume so much. She’s given me some great advice over the years. The best: Always be working on something new and read your manuscript out loud. Writers I love to read include: Edward P. Jones, Edwidge Danticat, Silas House, and Susann Cokal.

What else are you passionate about, i.e. if you weren’t an author, what else would you doing?  I’m passionate about old people, and I’m passionate about growing old with people I love, in a community I love. My favorite tree, out in Cartersville, Virginia is probably 300 or 400 years old. Being near that specific tree energizes me and makes me think of elderhood in new and different ways. I think creation has so much to offer us; my old tree always helps me to think about what it means to thrive and be resilient. I’ve recently returned to VCU in the Master of Gerontology program in order to study resilience and trauma in older adults and the longterm care workforce. I am already writing in new and different ways and I love it!

More About Gigi Amateau: Gigi’s first book for young adults, Claiming Georgia Tate, was published by Candlewick Press in 2005. The Wall Street Journal called the book “an ambitious push into the young adult market.” She is also the author of A Certain Strain of Peculiar, which was named a Bank Street College Best Children’s Book of the Year,  and Chancey of the Maury River, selected as a William Allen White Masters list title for grades 3-5. In 2012, Gigi received a Theresa Pollak Prize for Excellence in the Arts. Come August, Come Freedom, her first work of historical fiction, was selected as a Bank Street College Best Children’s Book of the Year, a 2013 Jefferson Cup honor book, and the Library of Virginia’s 2013 People’s Choice Fiction Award. In 2015, Candlewick published Two for Joy and Dante of the Maury River. Her first short story, “Good Bean,” was published last November in an anthology titled Abundant Grace, edited by Richard Peabody. Gigi has worked in the health and human services sector for nearly 30 years and is a certified yoga instructor. She is currently pursuing a Master of Science in Gerontology at VCU. She lives with her family in Richmond, Va. Learn more about Gigi at www.gigiamateau.com or follow her on Twitter: @giamateau.

New Week Perspective

Welcome to Monday. Today, appreciate the things you “get” to do and the people you “get” to serve.

Getting to do versus “having” to do is all about how you view your opportunities and blessings.

Why not start the week glass half-full, and handle with care?

photo credit: Jenny Downing
Photo Credit: Jenny Downing

Her Story: A Caregiver’s Heart

By Guest Blogger Cassandra Savage

Recently I assumed a role I thought no longer fit me, since my two sons are old enough to feed and nurture themselves: I became a caregiver.

According to Family Caregiver Alliance, I am not alone. Approximately 43.5 million people have provided unpaid care to an adult or child in the last 12 months, and about 34.2 million Americans have provided unpaid care to an adult age 50 or older during that same period.

A caregiver, also known as informal caregiver, is a spouse, partner, family member, friend or neighboer involved in assisting others with activities of daily living and/or medical tasks. Formal caregivers are paid care providers offering care in one’s home or in a care setting (i.e., daycare, residential facility, or long-term care facility).

I have become my 93-year old mother’s informal caregiver, and I can honestly say, this was never a role I thought I would have to play. I was too busy – I have my job, a teenager at home, my business, my blog, my church responsibilities and my social life.  I was even studying for my securities license.  So how could I fit the role of caregiver into my schedule?

Well, in this season of my life, God had another plan. He spoke to my heart and instructed me to take on this role, and I answered His call. Trust me, when God calls you to do something, He has already laid out the path and equipped you with everything you will need to accomplish it. I am thankful and grateful for my mother’s formal caregiver, Maria, who has supported me tremendously during this transition. She has been my rock.

When God calls you to serve another, it is not about the pain, the hurt feelings or disappointments you may have experienced with this person – it is about Him asking you to put aside all differences to serve Him and do what He has called you to do. As I repeatedly answer the same questions over and over again, due to my mother’s dementia or when she tells me I’m not doing something right, I remind myself that I am doing what God has requested of me.

I want to thank those who have been so supportive during this season of my life. I’m also thankful for God’s reminder in Hebrew’s 6:10: “God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.” (NIV)

As my mother and I begin to settle into our new normal, I have to remember that this is stressful for her as well, due to her having to leave her hometown, where she lived for more than nine decades. Watching her as she enjoys talking to my sons, feeding the dog an excessive amount of dog treats, appreciating my grandson’s visits and eating shortbread Girl Scout cookies, I know I have made the right decision.

Cassandra Savage recently celebrated 33 years of federal government service and holds a master’s degree in Organizational Management. Along with her extensive government career, she possesses a profound passion for serving others. She has struggled with her identity, experienced divorce and balanced a full-time job while single parenting, yet has never allowed these experiences to define her. Her resilience has inspired her to share her life’s journey with others, and two years ago, she founded New Wine Consulting, through which she provides personal development and leadership coaching. Learn more at New Wine Consulting, where a different version of this blog post originally appeared, in February 2017.

Why Leading with Love Matters

By Stacy Hawkins Adams

Every single action yields a reaction.
Your words of gossip assault your own integrity;
Your tendency to judge others leads to more judgment of you;
Feelings of hatred toward those who differ from you firmly lodge seeds of hate in the spaces of your life that should be filled with positivity and love.
An act of violence against one assaults all humanity.
And it can’t be said enough: Beyond our uniquely different outer layers, at the core of who we are, we are all the same – seekers of love, community, peace and contentment.
Together we all rise; divided we can’t help but sputter along.
Your singular choice in these matters matter.
Who will you be?
Where will you stand?
What tiny shift can you make to render a seismic difference in the people, community and world around you?
Trying is better than the alternative. Our children are watching us to learn who they should become. What lesson is your life teaching?

Her Story: Pain and Purpose

By Guest Blogger Alexis Goring

My mother recently told me that when I got sick at age 16, she asked God why at such a young age I had a nervous breakdown of epic proportions and had to be hospitalized.

The doctors diagnosed me with a chronic illness and prescribed a medicine that would help me be restored, but would  wreak havoc on my weight.

I gained 100 hundred pounds within five months of starting this medication; however, the medicine also helped me get better. And I eventually realized that a main reason I may have gotten sick at such a tender age might be so that God could birth my writing ministry.

You see, a few months after starting to get better, I found an online Christian community that spurred me to write. Other members’ comments moved me, and I felt nudged by God to start writing devotionals for the people who posted messages. Soon after, I began sending inspirational emails to friends and family, and that blossomed into a blog I titled “God is Love.”

About five years ago, I launched a Facebook community page called “Hope in My Heart,” which I borrowed from the title of my first book, Hope in My Heart: A Collection of Heartwarming Stories, that I self-published in September 2013.

Most recently, God answered a prayer of my heart when He allowed my second book to catch the attention of a traditional publisher, and in January 2017, I became an author with Forget Me Not Romances.

Did I mention that for five years, I also served as the “Growing Up” columnist for a faith-based publication called Collegiate Quarterly? Or that God enabled me to get my bachelor’s degree in print journalism and a Master of Fine Arts degree in creative writing?

None of this would have been possible without God leading and guiding me. Looking back, I see how He was there all along. Even at my lowest point, He was still there, and He used my pain to birth my purpose.

Some days, I think about what I lost by missing traditional school for almost two years when I was sick. But most days I realize that with God, I gained so much more, and that is a beautiful thing.

God restored me and made living worthwhile. He’s a miracle worker. I’m living proof.

Alexis A. Goring is a passionate writer with a degree in print journalism and an MFA in creative writing. She loves the art of storytelling and hopes that her stories will connect readers with the enduring, forever love of Jesus Christ. Visit her at website, www.screenwriteralexis.com, on Facebook or on Twitter. 

My Writer’s Journey Dissected – Part One

By Stacy Hawkins Adams

Stacy Hawkins Adams

I’ve had the privilege of being featured recently on two podcasts to share details about my path to becoming an author.

Thought I’d share one of them here today – my interview on The Writer’s Voice podcast with Robin Farmer – for any aspiring authors who need inspiration, and for readers who want to know more about the writer life. I’ll share my podcast interview on Writers and Authors on Fire with John Vonhoff in a few weeks.

The Writer’s Voice Podcast

The Writer’s Voice is a series in which authors talk about their work and read from their favorite writings. It is a service offered by Virginia Voice – a statewide nonprofit run by volunteers who read and record a variety of materials to enhance life for individuals who are unable to independently read print.

Meet The Writer’s Voice host, freelance writer Robin Farmer, then listen to her podcast interview with me.

Robin Farmer

Robin Farmer: I decided during a wonderful (writer) residency at Djerassi that once I returned home I would volunteer more in the community. Months later, I read that Virginia Voice functions only because dozens of volunteers pitch in.  On the spot, I decided to go and audition so that I could be a reader, ideally of young adult books. However, during a conversation while there, I was asked to consider interviewing authors with ties to Virginia about their novels and nonfiction books. I was elated, as many local authors are friends. I also wanted to work with Virginia Voice as I have serious eye issues that fortunately, can be corrected. If I was unable to read, I would want this type of programming.  I am honored to interview authors about their work and their writing journey for an audience who loves books and the people who write them as much as I do!

Click on the image below to listen to Stacy’s podcast interview or click here.

 

To hear additional author interviews on The Writer’s Voice, click here.

 

More about The Writer’s Voice host, Robin Farmer:
Robin is an award-winning journalist whose accolades include the Knight-Wallace Fellowship at the University of Michigan. Her work focuses on business, health and education and has appeared in the Washington Post, Publishers Weekly, the College of William & Mary, AARP Bulletin and Virginia Business.  In 2016, she was selected from among 900 applicants for the Djerassi Resident Artists Program to work on her debut YA novel. Her short story, The History Lesson, was included in the anthology River City Secrets: Stories from Richmond, which was published in 2016. Robin also writes screenplays. Visit her at robinfarmerwrites.com.

 

 

9 Ways to Find Fulfillment

By Stacy Hawkins Adams
You get to choose who you’ll be and how you’ll move through this world. Why not do so in a way that you’ll treasure with gratitude and great memories? Here are 9 tips to fuel your process:

1) Don’t let your motivation to do well or do the right thing be driven by what others do or don’t do; be excellent and operate with integrity regardless of how it’s received.

2) What others think of you truly is their business; respect yourself while respecting their choice to choose.

3) Lead with love, because this is still what we all need most.

4) Remember that what you see isn’t always what it is. A fleeting perception or assumption about someone or a particular circumstance could be completely wrong. Base your opinions instead on that person’s actions and attitude over the course of time; because who they truly are will spill out over time. Accept that truth when it’s revealed, and be okay either way.

5) Choose joy. Life is too short to let grudges, gossip, guilt, greed or the like derail you. Joy is the secret sauce that keeps you going and gives you hope.

6) Speak your vision for your life and live it. Instead of wishing it were better or different or easier, embrace what it is and get busy creating a better, different, easier life for you and your loved ones.

7)  Have fun and go for gold; but don’t “get yours” and leave others to fend for themselves. When you open your heart enough to care about and make sacrifices for the benefit of all humanity, you’ll enrich your own world more than you could imagine.

8) Decide to get uncomfortable enough to try something new. You never know what opportunities, blessings and growth are just waiting for you to show up.

9) Take time to be kind or to simply be available. You are the gift someone needs today.

Her Story: Freedom from Personalizing and People-Pleasing

By Guest Blogger Gloria Thomas

Gazing up at my business idol, I tremble. If I can’t mutter my question to her, I’ll quit my new sales job, defeated by my inability to withstand rejection, complaints and conflict.

Three reasons led me – a painfully shy, personalizing people-pleaser – to a job in sales: Flexible hours meant more time with my toddler; I hoped the challenges would build my communication confidence, and I wanted to follow in the footsteps of my gregarious grandfather.

DaDa was a lifelong salesman. Even as a boy he sold “Alspaugh’s King of Pain” for his father’s business, based in Burkeville, Virginia. The alcohol base of this snake oil (patent medicine) made it popular during prohibition.

DaDa encouraged me to speak up, connect with people, laugh and take risks. Yet, as the oldest of four siblings, I was a serious, sensitive bookworm. I believed that if I was smart, good and kind I could make everything okay, keep everyone happy and avoid conflict. Then no one would yell or bruise my tender feelings.

It didn’t work that way. Dealing with people baffled me, and sales encounters at my new job weren’t providing easy answers. One day, my call to a prospect who yelled at me before slamming down the phone, left me undone. After sobbing in agony, I went to my manager. “I just can’t do this.”

My manager knew I admired our executive vice president, though I’d never met her. She was coming to Richmond to speak to our regional sales team. I reluctantly promised to hang on for a couple more weeks, until I could ask our trailblazing leader how to prevent angry prospects and hurt feelings. She could help me!

I don’t recall a word of her speech – probably because I was totally focused on asking my question. She sat at my round table in the hotel banquet hall. Yet, shy and intimidated, I didn’t utter a word during lunch.

When she stood to leave, I scurried to the group surrounding her near the door and was the last to approach. “May I ask you a question?” “Sure!”

With a shaky voice I manage to tell the story of what happened with the prospect and asked her, “What did I do wrong?”

She looked puzzled for a moment. Having grown up in Queens, New York she’d NEVER been a personalizing people-pleaser. “You didn’t do ANYTHING wrong. She was just RUDE.”

With that declaration, something shifted in me. My relief brought courage, and a few days later, I called the prospect again. I learned that she couldn’t talk with anyone when I first called because her husband had just walked out on their family.

That experience resulted in a life-changing lesson: When I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing and someone behaves badly, it’s NOT about me. It’s about whatever they’re dealing with. I can empathize through understanding that intellectually – without attaching emotionally.

My communication confidence continued to blossom, and two years later at our annual conference, I gave a speech after my business hero presented me with the award for “Sales Manager of the Year.”

Who knew communication challenges could provoke personal growth?

© 2017 Gloria Thomas, all rights reserved

Gloria Thomas is known as The Communication Wizard. She is the founder and chief communication strategist of Wizard Workforce Development (www.wizardinc.com), a communication consulting, coaching and training company. Her most popular training programs include Communication Lab: Increase Your Interpersonal Effectiveness, Speak on Your Feet Presentation Skills and Diversity & Workplace Communication.

Why Women Matter

By Stacy Hawkins Adams
Today is International Women’s Day, and I salute the women who have helped raise, nurture, mentor and encourage me and others.
From our mothers and grandmothers to
our biological sisters (in my case, three of them, and their friends) to
our teachers and youth program leaders to
women mentors in the workplace to
sister-friends with whom we’ve mutually shared triumphs or tears, and who’ve climbed beside us or pushed us higher –
Thank you all.
It is in honor of you that I write women characters in my novels who stand together through highs and lows, tell each other the truth, love even when it’s hard, and grow together in purpose and grace.
Women who, like you, change the world for better.
Even in the darkest of hours, places or seasons, and even when you don’t realize it, your presence brings life-sustaining hope. Thanks for being the light.
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